


We are what we are

by Strange_doll_from_Hell



Series: Family [3]
Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, F/M, Families of Choice, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Humor, LGBTQ Themes, Meet the Family, Relationship Discussions, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:47:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24401548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strange_doll_from_Hell/pseuds/Strange_doll_from_Hell
Summary: A revelation is causing Jenna to make decisions about her new nature.
Relationships: Jenna/Nadja (What We Do in the Shadows TV), Laszlo Cravensworth/Nadja
Series: Family [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1708681
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	1. Welcome back

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I feel a little bad about killing Shanice (if I had known!). But hey, I tried to make it right. I'm also very happy for Beanie Feldstein and her career but I'm still wondering what was planned for her and I hope to see her again in season 3.

-So how was Montreal? Ask Nadja.  
-So good! Taking the internship was a good idea and besides, it's was not a problem to work at night! says Jenna. -How's everybody doing?  
-Good, everybody's fine. Guillermo seems a little stressed out and it's making him insolent, but otherwise he's fine.  
-Cool! Did I miss something?  
-So little. We've had several new familiars, all of whom are now deceased. I wish you could have met Topher, he was one of the best we had.  
-I'm sure of it. I think it was the first time I ever saw Juliet remember the name of any of them, except for Guillermo.  
-Yeah, we've been trying to bring him back to life with my friend Wallace…  
-The necromancer? Says Jenna excited. -It didn't work out?  
-Not really, he came back, but... not functionally. But Wallace said he'd take care of him, and give us free key chains. Otherwise, we were haunted but that's all sorted out, beat a curse and...Oh, we were invited to the Superb Owl party but the bird didn't show up in the end so it doesn't matter that you missed it!

Jenna had to restrain herself from laughing. How could such incredible things be part of the ordinary routine?

-Jenna! Juliet screamed before throwing herself at her.  
-Juliet, I'm happy to see you.  
-Did you like being in Canada? Tu as pratique ton français? Did you like the undead community there? Have you seen Ogopogo? Are…  
-And interrogation is over! said Nadja, taking her daughter down of Jenna to the ground. -Jenna just got home. Give her a rest, sweetie.  
-But she was gone all summer!  
-You're not the only one who missed her. You don't see me hogging her, though.  
-But…  
-I'm a little tired, but if you want in the meantime, I can give you your present if you like, Jenna suggested.  
-You have presents for us? said Juliet with an expression who have nothing to envy to her parents when they heard the word virgin.  
-It's no big deal. Just a few things I thought you might like.  
-And I would appreciate the care you put into my gift no matter what its monetary value," says Juliet, badly hiding her impatience.  
-There you go, Jenna said as she handed her a package.  
-Yeah! I got the biggest one!  
-Aren't you forgetting something? Nadja asked.  
-Oh sure, where are my manners! Thank you so much, Jenna! I'll let you rest! said the child, hugging her before running away with her present.

Once she left the room, Nadja asked her:

-That's really nice of you. I hope it wasn't too expensive.  
-For Juliet? Oh no. She gets the biggest one because I put a lot of cheap stuff in it. It's a Canadian Fameus Crime Sticker Book, a sweater that says Greeting from Canada with some zombie beavers and a bunch of candy you can't find in the United States.  
-Good selection. I still ask Na...Nandor to tell Guillermo to make sure she doesn't swallow everything in the same evening. And then you and I can catch up? Nadja smiles.  
-Yes," said Jenna, giving her back her smile. -Do you want your present first?  
-How can I refuse that? Yes!  
-Perfect! Jenna said as she pulled out a little box. 

Nadja took it and opened it before uttering an exclamation.

-I know you were sad when you lost your necklace. It's not jade and it doesn't have the same emotional value…  
-I like Malachie too. A little octopus, that's cute!  
-Yes, I found it in a small village by the sea. It was really pretty and they had decorated it almost everything with water theme animals. The town even has a huge statue of a man with a squid head and wings. The people were really nice.  
-I didn't know they immigrated to Canada too.  
-German?  
-No, but it's not important. I think it's very pretty and I like that you've found a practical gift.  
-Practical?  
-Malachite is toxic in water. Try to steal it from me now, Joanie, said Nadja with a wicked laugh.  
-Do you want me to put it on you?  
-Wait until we're alone upstairs together, proposed Nadja.

******

-Hey Guillermo.  
-Jenna, said Guillermo surprised. -You caught me out of gard! 

He just had time to throw the stake that rolled under the stove.

-You dropped your spoon! Do you want me to lift the furniture…  
-No! I mean, you must be tired. I'll manage.  
-Are you sure? You look exhausted.  
-Just... haven't been sleeping much lately.  
-Alright. Hey, I brought gifts for everyone. You want yours and Nandor's?  
-Of course. What do you got?  
-So, I'm not very proud of myself, but I got you everything I could in the medicine aisle. Familiars don't get health insurance, I guess.  
-Oh thank G... Jenna, said Guillermo as he grabbed the package.

His master had hypnotized the hospital a few times but it would be much more convenient that way.

-About Nandor, I confess I wasn't too sure. I mean, it's probably my fault for not spending enough time with him, but I'm a little blocked. So I ended up buying him two jerseys : one from a hockey team and another from a baseball team because he likes sports.  
-He'll like it, don't worry. And for the future, he loves the trinkets you find in souvenir shops. He still has the snow globe I brought back to him lord of my last vacation.  
-You have a vacation?  
-Three days a year. The outward and return journey must be included.  
-Ah. That...nice?  
-Anyway, I'm glad to see you're getting better.  
-I just needed a change of scenery... after what happened. I still feel guilty.

About Shanice's death and the others. Guillermo's belly twisted with guilt. Because Shanice is alive. She survived the monster (Guillermo really wanted to know how) and was mourning her friend who she thought was lost. 

Guillermo knew it was stupid, but the last few weeks had been exhausting.

-Jenna?  
-Yes?  
-Shanice is alive.


	2. Confrotation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna's going to visit her friend and think about her future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm going to write what I think would probably have happened in the canon (+ the elements I put in my story). If you're reading this and hadn't read the previous stories, I think you should understand anyway. Have a good read.

-WHAT?  
-Shh! I haven't told anyone!  
-Why? Who?She's still on Staten Island? How long have you known?  
-I have my reasons, no idea, yes and about two weeks ago.  
-What about the others?  
-The police found Emma's body and I don't know about the others, but I don't hold out much hope. They probably would have been there too…  
-Where to? Where else would they have been?  
-Jenna…  
-I want you to tell me the truth, says Jenna's a nervous wreck using her hypnosis.  
-You don't want to hear the truth, says Guillermo under hypnosis.

Jenna screamed in frustration before she left the kitchen. Guillermo went after her.

-Jenna, stop! Please listen to me!  
-Why? Why won't you tell me?  
-Please, Jenna, keep it down!

Jenna kept her mouth shut but refused to stay in his present, preferring to turn into a bat (she almost looked like a real one now). And flew outside until she was installed on the roof. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Shanice's number, each ring sounding like an eternity before someone picked it up.

-Hello?  
-Shanice!  
-Jenna?  
-I'm so glad to hear you," said Jenna badly holding back tears. -How are you?  
-...I almost got eaten by a merry-go-round, my boyfriend died and you disappeared?  
-I'm... I'm sorry after everything that happened, I left. But I'm here now! Do you want to get together? I'll answer all your questions!  
-It's late. Do you mind if we meet at Larp's place?  
-No, I don't. I'll be there in an hour.

*****

Technically, Jenna could have been before, but she wanted to make it look like she took the bus instead of flying. She's nervous, but she needs to stay positive: it's time to be there for Shanice. She's had a horrible experience, but she'll help her. She can show her that this new world is scary but it can also be beautiful. She finally spotted her and rushed to join her.

-Shan...  
-Stop! Keep your distance! Shanice shouted.

Jenna obeys despite her surprise. Shanice had been through a traumatic experience after all. She could see it, Shanice's expression was worried and her heart was beating wildly.

-I'm glad to see you in one piece," says Jenna.  
-Oh really? Why?  
-Because I thought that monster devoured you. How did you get out of it?  
-Don't you want to know.  
-Yes, I do. But if it's too hard for you to talk about...  
-Instead of pretending, why don't you show them to me?  
-Show you what?  
-Your fangs!  
-I'm not sure if…  
-Cut the crap, I know you're a vampire!

Alright, she guessed it. Alright, that's okay. That's probably why she's worried.

-I guess you're right. I'm sorry I didn't say it before. I wasn't sure how to announce to you, and after what happened at the amusement park, it was too late. But yes, I've been a vampire for almost a year.

Jenna felt a smile forming on her lips. Almost a year, wow. Her life had changed so much since then.

-You're dead, Shanice says.  
-Technically, but I'm still the same person. Or a slightly more fulfilled version. Look, if you have any questions, I'll answer them to the best of my ability. I'm so glad I can talk to you about this. And here," said Jenna, opening her mouth to show her fangs.

Shanice step back, scare.

-Shanice, I think you wanted to see them. Do you want us to go to a cafe? Maybe you'd be more comfortable…  
-I told you to stay away! Shanice shouted and taking out of her purse, a water gun.  
-I'm not gonna hurt you, we're friends, tempted Jenna, realizing what's going on.  
-Jenna was my best friend…  
-I was?  
-You're just her soulless corpse! She would never have let me be almost devoured by a monster!  
-I didn't want to! I'm so sorry! started crying, Jenna.  
-You're going to be! Shanice said, starting to shoot with the water gun.

The water hit Jenna and burned her like acid.

-If you were still Jenna, it wouldn't burn you, you soulless creep. 

It hurts. Physically and emotionally. They were best friends? Why didn't she tell her? Why won't she let her explain? She just wanted to…

Before Jenna figured out what she was doing, she had jumped on Shanice throwing her to the ground, wanting to hurt her like she hurts her. Shanice tries to fight back but a vampire has the strength of ten people and it's worse when the vampire's in a bad mood.

-No, pleads Shanice absolutely terrified, bringing Jenna back to reality.  
-Disappear monster!" shouted a voice that Jenna recognized.

She turns around to see Guillermo with a stake in his hand approaching them.

-I said fuck off, sucker!

Jenna gets off Shanice and becomes invisible. Immediately, Guillermo rushes towards the girl.  
-Are you all right? Are you hurt?

All Shanice can do is cry into Guillermo's arms.

-It's all right.I'll drive you home.

*****

Guillermo came home several hours later. He went upstairs and knocked on the attic.

-Can I come in?" asked Guillermo.  
-Yes, Jenna said.

Jenna was sitting in the room in a work and progress state (they were still setting it up and since she had been away for a while, they had left everything lying around).

-I guess I owe you an explanation.  
-Please.  
-Okay, I... I... how can I put this... it was an accident... but I discovered... a group of vampire hunters…  
-And you decided to go undercover? Ask Jenna.  
-Yes.  
-Do the others know about this?  
-No! I mean, if I get caught, I don't want them to get hurt, and quite frankly, some of the hunters have...legitimate reasons to want reparations. I'd like to avoid bringing to the scaffold people who want to avenge their loved ones.

To his surprise, Jenna comes over and gives him a hug.

-Shit, I don't care what Nadja says: if by the end of the year Nandor hasn't changed you, I will. That must be terrifying there.  
-It's... complicated.  
-We have to kill to survive, but they have a right to defend themselves, admitted Jenna.  
-Yes, they do, says Guillermo grateful for Jenna's understanding. -That's where I met Shanice. I didn't realize you two knew each other before she named you. And I only learned that she almost died because of the monster tonight.  
-What was she like after... that I…  
-Upset, says Guillermo, deciding to be honest. -If she'd lived alone, I think I'd have stayed with her. She wants to avenge you.  
-But why? I'm fine. Ok, I'm dead but I'm happier than I've ever been!  
-I think she thinks you were turned against your will.   
-For someone who says she's my best friend, she really doesn't know me!" Jenna shouted frustrated.

Realizing what she'd just said, Jenna started crying.

-I'm horrible. I attacked her and terrorized her. I left her for death and I find a way to pick on her when all she wants is revenge for my death.  
-Jenna, come on, don't say that. I don't think... I don't think you're the worst person in this house. Not even close," Guillermo realized with horror.  
-There are two humans, one who is a child, and Colin Robinson doesn't need to kill for his food.  
-Oh, believe me, Colin Robinson is more dangerous than he looks. I won't deny that I help a lot to facilitate the ...meals and clean up afterwards. And I'm pretty sure Juliet shouldn't be so... comfortable with the concept of murder. Speaking of which, could we keep this vampire hunter thing between us until I think of a solution?  
-Of course, I don't think I could convince Nadja or Laszlo not to kill Shanice immediately if they knew.  
-Perfect. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some cleaning to finish.

Once he had left, Jenna looked anxiously at her phone, especially her voice mail, which was already too full. Well, she couldn't back down now. Fear in her stomach, she dialed the number.

Two rings later:

-Hello, Browns residence…  
-Hi, Mom.   
-Jenna! It's about time. Do you have any idea how much trouble you've caused us?  
-Sorry, I've been a little ov….  
-We have a bill for an ambulance. You don't answer for months knowing I have Thanksgiving to plan, the college calls to say you're leaving the dorm after all the drama you gave us to go and a girl who said she was your old roommate told me you died!

Thank Shanice, think Jenna.

-I'm sorry about that bad joke,I have no idea why she did it. I just got sick and someone panicked. I'm gonna pay you back. My life has been a bit chaotic and I've had an internship opportunity so I thought you'd understand if I didn't come. And for the residency, I found an flats, so…  
-A flats? What kind of dump can you afford in this economy?  
-It's not a dump, it's even really nice and big. And I have roommates, so it's really cheap.  
-Roommates? What kind of roommates? How many of them? Can I talk to their parents?  
-Really nice roommates. Uh... we are seven? More like six because the kid's not gonna pay.   
-Oh because one of the roommates is an idiot who got knocked up by the first one she saw and is living on other people's taxes now?  
-No, mom. It's... he's married, okay?  
-He? You live with boys? Is one of them your boyfriend?  
-Yeah, four of them are boys. And no, none of them is my boyfriend.  
-And you're comfortable living with four men and another girl and her baby? Oh please tell me the father is among them.  
-Yes, he's among them. And yes, I'm comfortable living with four guys. And the girl is the one who invited me to come live with them.  
-To get a free babysitter when she goes out.  
-No, because she's my girlfriend.  
-Well, she may say she's your friend, but that doesn't mean…  
-My girlfriend, Mom.  
-I heard, yes, she's your friend.  
-That I'm dating.  
\- So you going out with her. You want to hear me say I'm wrong about the babysitting?  
-Mom, my girlfriend I kiss on the mouth!  
-Is it a millennium thing?  
-Mom, in what kind of language do you want to hear me say it in? I telling you I'm dating another girl! A girl that I love and kiss and... other things!

No sound came out of the phone, which worried Jenna right away.

-Mom? Mom, are you okay?  
-...I know you haven't had much luck in the romance Jenna but you didn't need to give up.   
-I’m sorry, what?  
-I mean, nothing a little makeup or dieting could've fixed.   
-Mom, I don't date my girlfriend because I don't do well with boys!  
-Then why did you do it? You're not like that!  
-Yes, I'm like that. Mom, I like girls too.  
-No, you're lonely. You think you don't have a chance with men and you surround yourself with girls who think experimentation is fun. That's it, that's all. Look, I'll talk to Jim and we'll come get you…  
-No! I'm fine. I'm happy where with my girlfriend.  
-You don't answer me! And you expect me to believe when you just admitted to me that you live with a bunch of irresponsible people for I don't know how many months, that you were sick enough for the school to call an ambulance... Are you on drugs? Oh, my God, my daughter is a junkie!  
-Of course not! I don't even drink coffee anymore!  
-And you think your word is going to convince me of that?   
-You can come and see for yourself if you don't believe me!  
-Really? So if I come with everyone next week, can you confirm that I won't find you in a squad with a bunch of delinquents?  
-The house and its people are wonderful!  
-Send me the address and we'll be there next Saturday for brunch.  
-Uh, better after 6:00, just to make sure everyone's there.  
-Well, ask them to work it out.  
-No one will answer if you knock before 6:00. Nobody will be home.  
-In the middle of the Sabbath…  
-Mom, we're not practicing. You eat bacon.   
-They don't know that! It's the least they can do.  
-So Saturday, you and Jim.  
-Jacob and Bethany.  
-So Seth is coming too?  
-Depends if he can and if he has time.  
-I'll text him.

Jenna clearly heard her mother mumbling in her teeth. Thank you, super vampire sense.

-Don't bother, I will.

Yep, Jenna's gonna have to text Seth.

-Good night, her mother said before she hung up.

And it was only after that Jenna realized what she'd done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would have liked to explore Jenna and Shanice's relationship more, but since I've already killed her once, I'm hesitant to play too much with her, especially close to the finale. But who knows afterwards?


	3. Aveux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna is asking for a favor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a microscopic chapter, I know but I try to make chapters shorter but published more often.

Are you done? Juliet asked to her father.  
-Mostly, I just have to take care of the eyes, said Laszlo. -I still don't know if I want to make him look ready to kill or ready for a lover.  
-Why not ready to kill for a lover? Juliet asked.  
-A little more complicated to do but I like the idea, bantling," says Laszlo selecting his instruments.  
-I see you've almost finished to assembling your present," said Nadja as she joined them.   
-Yes, this wolverine will be ready by the end of the evening and we can find him a place where to shine.  
-Good, I think Jenna was nervous about giving it to you unassembled.  
-Why? That's the fun part to choose the pose and expression.  
-Can I choose his name? Juliet asked.  
-It's your father's gift, Nadja reminded her nicely.  
-You can propose names, but I have veto power, Laszlo says.   
-Logan, Juliet suggested.  
-Yerk, no. That sounds too trashy for such noble animal.  
-Glouton?   
-Did we have named you Fille? We can't just give him the name of his species in another language.  
-François?  
-Okay, that's not bad. Any reason for that name?  
-François Arnanud. He's the actor who played César Borgia. He's Canadian.  
-The actor was actually really handsome and ferocious in that show. Francois it is.  
-Yeah!!!  
-Hey everyone," said Jenna as she joined them.  
-Hi Jenn...Are you okay? asked Nadja suddenly worried when she saw her expression.  
-Uh... Could I talk to you both?  
-My darling, why don't you think of some places where François could be placed? Laszlo ask to his daughter.

Juliet doesn't seem particularly happy to be kicked out of the discussion but obeys. Once the child left the room, Nadja asked the question:

-What's the problem, baby?  
-I'd like to ask you a favor.  
-I'm curious to know what's so horrifying about it for putting you in this state," said Laszlo.  
-It's... I know it's not easy but... I want... I want to... I want to work things out with my family.

Nadja and Laszlo look at each other, then to her with at look uncomfortable.

-It's not a good idea. It's actually a really stupid idea.  
-My sweetie, you can't be serious...   
-My mother is about to launch the FBI after me because I've been avoiding her for months and someone called her to tell her I'm dead! The longer I wait, the worse it gets!  
-Is there any history of heart disease or aneurysms in your family?  
-Laszlo! said angry Nadja.  
-I don't want to do anything to her mother, but we could fake Jenna's death. I mean, all you have to do is fast for a few days and you'll even smell the decomposition.   
-Yikes, no!  
-Jenna, my stupid baby that I love: I know some stupid media wants to make you believe that you can openly say you're a vampire and everyone will magically be okay with it. But this is crap!  
-Maybe I can start with a test then? Maybe I could call them and just say I have a girlfriend and I didn't know how to tell them? Try Jenna.  
-Are you old enough that she won't lock you up? Nadja asked worriedly.  
-Or worse? completed Laszlo.  
-Oh, no, don’t worried about that. They don't do that on Staten Island anymore, Jenna says.  
-Still, I don't see why you want to try, said Nadja. -What's it gonna get you?  
-Maybe I wish I could at least say goodbye. If you could, you wouldn't want to have one last nice moment with your loved ones. Let them know you'd be okay?  
-I wasn't okay for a century, Nadja said coldly. -I can understand that nowadays, disappearing without a trace is complicated. But there's a limit to how long this little charade will last.   
-Just let me try. At worst, we'll erase their memories and I'll fake my death. If I had a year for that, would it be so bad? Just cleaning up after me and making sure everything's in order?

Nadja had a hesitant expression: she still didn't like the idea but could understand Jenna's desire all too well.

-I guess it's doable. But you're going to have to be careful, and you have to promise me you'll stop at the first sign of danger.  
-I also assume that my marriage with Nadja won't be precise or the existence of our child? says Laszlo.  
-Laszlo, I said I'd respect your place and I...   
-Jenna, my husband's smart enough to understand that saying you're dating a married woman won't get the best reaction from your family, cut Nadja.  
-...Yes. But you'd bring them here, wouldn't you? Won't they wonder why there's a children's room upstairs? Or what if they come across a picture of the two of us? The chemistry is hard to ignore!  
-Can we kill the goat before we start haggling over its price? asked Nadja. -Have Jenna call them and come up with a plan of attack once we have time and conditions to work with.   
-Speaking of which…She called me and wants to come with the whole family to our house saturday’s.  
-And you explained that it was impossible? asked Nadja.  
-…  
-Jenna? You told her, right?  
-...I said it's was impossible before 6:00.  
-Bloody Hell, Jenna! said Nadja discouraged  
-I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…  
-Do you want me to call to erase their memory or do you want to do it? Laszlo asked to his wife.  
-Why? No! Sceam Jenna.  
-No? You want to do it yourself, maybe? Laszlo said coldly.  
-Nadja told me what happened with your neighbor. You will not lobotomize my mother!  
-Jenna, it's a very safe process, normally. It's just that Laszlo had hypnotized Shane a little too often in the past, and when he tried to do a double hypnosis with Nandor, the pressure was too much for his human brain.  
-What if the person is really motivated? You said you can't change a person's mind if it goes against their very nature. My mom's worried about me and wants to come see me to make sure I'm okay.  
-Shit, that's right. I don't think even the three of us could do it," says a frustrated Nadja.  
-So, what did we do? Laszlo asked.  
-Our bloody better. Asked Nandor to organize a flats meeting, please.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1)François Arnanud is a national treasure.  
> 2) The taxidermy animals are the legos of Nadja and Laszlo. It's more fun to do it yourself.


	4. Council of War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The inhabitants of the house are planning their plan of attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you haven't read the previous stories: Dedushka is a term in Russian to refer to a grandfather or an elderly person with respect. I have Russian friends and one of them taught me that Afanas is a nickname for Afanasii and means immortal.  
> Dizzy age a Victorian expression for talking about senility.

-I think this is the first time a flat meeting has been organized by someone other that Nandor," says Colin.  
-Well, I don't dislike it. I'm glad you want to get more involved in our responsible as roommate…  
-Nandor, have you decided to become a psychic vampire by any chance? Laszlo asked annoyed.

Nandor hiss but Nadja gave him a dark look before he could do anything.

-We are gathered here for a crisis situation, a minor one, but a crisis in any case, she explained.  
-Really, it's no big deal, Jenna insisted.  
-It must be important if me and Colin Robinson are invited, says Juliet. -I wasn't even included when you were talking about Dedushka.  
-I'm still not sure if I'm comfortable with you calling the baron by his name, says Laszlo.  
-Why?  
-Because grandpa used to date mommy and daddy is going to involve some interesting questions, Colin scoffed.  
-Enough Colin Robinson! But that why me and Jenna have asked for this meeting is related to this kind of problem, says Nadja. -Jenna invited her family here on Saturday.

Exclamations of surprise, joyful or horrified were heard.

-No, I didn't authorize this! Jenna, I know you're new here, but…Nandor started.  
-You didn't authorize it? Are you become emperor of America while we slept? Nadja asked frustrated.  
-No, but I'm in charge of the house…  
-I paid for it, Colin says.  
-I'm the oldest…  
-Has the dizzy age started? Laszlo asked falsely worriedly.

Nandor got ready to get physical with Laszlo. But Guillermo intervenes:

-Master, I'm sorry to interrupt, but maybe let Jenna explain. We're gonna have to figure this out before it's too late.   
-You're right to be sorry! But it's true that we don't often have human guests for long periods of time. And who don't know our nature. Your family doesn't know that you are…  
-No. I'm not sure I'm gonna tell them, but…  
-The 21st century seems more open to the idea of vampires. Maybe it's possible, said Nandor.  
-Like in Twilight? Laszlo scoffed.   
-It helps people to sympathize with us! Nandor defends himself.  
-No, that movie helped people sympathize with glitter fairies who shit higher than the hole.  
-Laszlo! Nadja scolded him while Nandor smiled contentedly. -Don't use that kind of language in front of our child!  
-I'm sure she's heard worse from both of you, Colin says.

Juliet nodded.

-She's smart enough not to repeat it in good company," Laszlo defended himself.   
-I am.  
-See!  
-Whatever. Let's get back to it, Nadja cut. -I guess we'll have to feed them. How many people with be there? Nadja asked Jenna.  
-Uh... my parents. My half-brother and my two younger siblings.  
-Sorry to interrupt, but how does this work? I mean, your half-brother but your all parents... started Nandor.  
-Actually, my biological father died of complications from an illness when I was three. My mother married Jim, who had a son, Seth. And they have two children together.  
-So Gizmo has to make enough food for seven people," says Laszlo.  
-Does my familiar have to prepare food for your guests? Nandor asked frustrated.  
-First of all, you're going to be there, so they're your guests, too, and second of all, we're going to pay for the ingredients. It's just a bigger version of what we've been asking him to do for the last six years with our bantling.   
-Guillermo cook for you? Asked Jenna to Juliet.  
-Yes, to make sure my food is good. Not all familiars are good in the kitchen.  
-We have a picky child, says Nadja.  
-I'm not picky! I just don't want to eat pre-vomit.  
-It has never…Nadja began.  
-Winnie, said Laszlo.  
-If you want to take the worst that we ever haves!  
-I do. Even the raccoons didn't want it. It smelled and looked like the guts of a pestiff. Our daughter still can't eat raisins without getting physically sick because of her cooking, Laszlo said coldly.

Again, Juliet nodded

-Never mind. Do you think you can cook a meal for seven people? Ask Nadja to Guillermo.  
-Probably with a budget and some time. If Jenna can give me any indication of possible allergies or food restrictions.  
-I'll make you a list, Jenna says.  
-Aren't you forgetting something? Colin asked.  
-What, Colin Robinson? Ask Nadja.  
-Jenna's family's not to ask why five people aren’t not eating?

The realization struck others.

-Americans eat ridiculously early compared to us Europeans.We could just pretend not be hungry? Laszlo tried.  
-Jenna isn't European, Nandor says.  
-Colin Robinson, do you have a solution to this problem or do you just want a snack? asked Nadja.  
-Both of them. Let's do what I do every time we have an office event. I can drink a little, but eating is hard for me. It has no taste and the texture is... just awful. I can swallow a little, but it's not great for my stomach. I can't digest it. Literally, it comes out the other side intact, just…  
-That's enough, I think we have enough information as it is, Colin Robinson, cut him off Nandor.  
-My point is that I always arrange to be on the organizing committee and that it should always be a buffet rather than a restaurant. You can choose the quantity, camouflage the food more easily and pass it on to others when no one is looking.  
-Is a buffet like an afternoon tea? Laszlo asked.  
-Vaguely," replied Jenna. -I guess that could work.  
-We have two humans who can play the freeloader, says Nadja. -No raisins, I understand that, but don't think you can only eat sweets, says Nadja to her daughter.  
-That fine. Guillermo knows my preferences, says Juliet.  
-Is that in your capabilities, Guillermo? Nandor asked.  
-Depending on what it's composing, yes, master.  
-No garlic, that's for sure. We'll think about the rest.  
-All right, one problem to fix. I guess we should agree on some details so as not to betray our nature, concludes Nadja.   
-Speaking of which, Jenna started. -Nandor, I have a favor to ask of you.  
-What is it?  
-Could you let Guillermo call you by your first name just for one night?  
-What? Why would I do that?  
-Nandor, give me a situation in 2020 where a person calls another master in public," Colin asked.  
-...Well...sometimes for...in certain situations where respect...oh, shit! All right, but if poor Guillermo slips up, you can only blame yourself! spat out Nandor before he started sulking in his seat.  
-So, what are we going to say about me and my child? Laszlo asked. -I need a backstory: why am I a single father living in a flat with my child?  
-Divorce? Says Guillermo.

Laszlo hiss to Guillermo's proposal.

-How dare you imply that someone would want to leave me?  
-Maybe you're the one he filed for divorce... tempted Guillermo.  
-So I'm the monster who robbed a mother of her child? And I got nothing in the divorce?  
-It a joint decision? Try again Guillermo.  
-You never get divorced by mutual consent, that's a myth created by people who can blackmail each other!  
-You are a widower of my twin sister Nadia and you want your daughter to be close to the only family she has in America to ease her grief, says Nadja.  
-...I like it. It explains why I'm here, it doesn't make me look like an unworthy parent or husband, and if someone finds a compromising picture of us together, I can pretend it's my dear wife whom I tragically lost," says Laszlo. -You see, Gizmo, it's not so hard to find!  
-Will you remember to call me Auntie Nadja? She asked her daughter.  
-No problem, I can... I can remember, Juliet said, remembering her promise.

She wasn't supposed to talk about her aunt who lives in the doll.

-So that only leaves the most important thing, Nandor said. -How did you two meet? That would be my first question. No, actually if you'd seduced one of my children, I'd have had you violently executed, but I think that's a question parents ask these days.  
-That's easy. I'll just tell them you go to the same college as me, Jenna says.  
-And what does Nadja study in? Did she start her studies later or did she go back for another degree? She already has debts...Colin asked mercilessly.  
-Stop! I ... I don't know ... Nadja started. -I’m a senior, i guess? Don't look at me like that! I was born a woman, poor and gypsy. I'm one of the few who could read, write and calculate in my village.   
-Why don't you just take mine? Laszlo suggested. -I can coach you on my own studies for help.  
-Did you go to college? Nandor asked.  
-Yes. In fact, I got into Oxford University at age 15 and graduated in medicine, he says proudly.  
-Wow, Laszlo! That's super impressive! Says Jenna admiringly.

Guillermo had to clench his teeth so as not to scream bullshit.

Laszlo alone

-I will confess that medicine wasn't my main interest. If I had been able to study what I wanted, I would have gone into music, literature or even botany, but my father told me that he would only pay if I entered one of the three most prestigious programs: theology, mathematics or medicine. Theology, even when I was alive bored out of my mind. Mathematics...how shall I put it, I'm a creative rather than a logical person. So, yeah, there's not enough bribes or sexual favors I could give to get a math degree. So, only stayed the medicine as an option. But it's was not bad, I found it very informative.

Return to the group.

-So you're a doctor, Papa?  
-Yes, I'm a doctor. I've never practiced, but I've got my diploma if you want to see it!  
-Could you even practice? Considered what we call modern medicine doesn't even exist until 1847, Colin says.  
-Also, it's western medicine," Nandor whispered.  
-I could if I wanted to! I've been keeping up to date on the latest medical findings. I... recognize that a lot has changed since the time I study. And even back then I had my doubts.  
-What do you mean? Nadja asked.  
-Well, when we went to study surgery, we had bodies dissected. It was a lot of fun and educational, but... we only worked on men. At first, I thought, okay, we'll work on women another day. But we didn't. I thought it was a bit weird because women do things that men don't do like carrying children or giving milk. Men can't do that, so they must be a little different on the inside, right? Might be nice to open one just to be sure. I even asked my teacher about it.  
-What did he say? Nandor asked looking worried.  
-That it would be unacceptable to expose a naked, open woman in front of young men...Because it's not like more than half of my class was first name base with the girls from the broth...had girlfriends. A lot of girlfriends who they really spoiled. And that any way according to him, women are more or less like men but full of hormones that make them unstable once a month. Even then, I thought it was stupid. If a cow and a bull are different on the inside, why shouldn't humans be?

Nandor alone

-If you still had doubts, Westerners make horrible doctors... Remember that Laszlo was the child prodigy of his class!

Return to the groups.

-When we were still in London, is that why I found female human reproductive organs in our cooler? asked Nadja.  
-It's not like they're gonna miss it. But, yes, I wanted to complete my education. And I have to say, the female body, inside and outside, is a beauty. The miracles you women create," Laszlo said, waving his hand in kissing.  
-That's nice, Papa.  
-And not disturbing at all, Guillermo says.  
-So, what do you think? Laszlo asked to Nadja. -Could you say you're a medical student who's majoring in surgery?  
-I could try that, yes.  
-If you say you want an American degree in addition to your British one, it might be more believable," says Colin.  
-Perfect then, I think we'll be ready then, concludes Nadja.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who wonder at the time when Laszlo was probably born, you were going to university somewhere between the ages of 14 and 19 if you had the money and rank for it. It's not as impressive as it is now. So this is my way of deciding whether Jack the Ripper had medical knowledge or not. Yeah, but they were pretty crappy.  
> Nandor's opinion for western medicine comes from the fact that in his time, the western doctor was infamous for killing rather than curing especially compared to the rest of the world.   
> Also Laszlo's opinion on divorce does not reflect the author's opinion.


	5. Food and clothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group's getting ready for Jenna's family's arrival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll post quickly for this story but don't worry, I won't forget the rest.

-I hope you understand what I want from you, Gizmo! I had to dip into my petty cash for this meal. I don't want to look cheap in front of our guests but if I find out that you've been stealing anything and taking inferior ingredients…" Laszlo said threatening.  
-I'll do my best with your requests but I'm afraid I'll have to take some liberties with your ideas," Guillermo tried to explain.  
-Like what?  
-The turtle soup for example, I don't think I can find fresh turtles, prepared them and ... most people see them as pets.  
-Pet, really? It's not cute, and it doesn't make anything interesting!  
-Turtles also often have salmonella, which causes symptoms such as…explain Colin.  
-All right, I get it, no soup! It's bad enough that Jenna doesn't want foie gras because it's cruel, says Laszlo rolling his eyes. -Geese and duck are meaner than force-feeding. Have you ever seen a duck's penis? Looks like a bunch of hooks.  
-I can google, Colin suggested.  
-I'm fine, thank you," replied Guillermo.  
-You know, I could go hunting a nice piece of wildlife for help? Nandor suggest.  
-Like what, a raccoon, some squirrel maybe? Mock Colin.  
-Of course not!Guillermo, check out what they have at the zoo!  
-Get a peacock! It'll look so good in a centerpiece. Or better yet, get us a weird critter from Australia! I'm sure it's not every day that people eat koala bear! Laszlo said suddenly interested.  
-...I think I'll stay in my comfort zone. Laszlo, I'm sure I can make the stan for afternoon tea with no problem a least. Master, it's a very sweet attention but getting invited to the zoo, killing the animal, transporting it and learning how to cook it can be difficult. Maybe next time.  
-If you doubt of your abilities, fine, said Nandor. -I would still like you to use this weird fruit, I know it's very expensive but I think it would have an effect, says Nandor.  
-What fruit? Ask Laszlo.  
-The one with the skin like a lizard and green on the inside.  
-That sounds disgusting, says Laszlo.  
-It must be good, I've heard that people go into debt to put it on their bread," Nandor explained.  
-Avocados? Ask Guillermo.  
-Avocat? Why do you need a lawyer? Ask Laszlo.  
-No, avocado is the name of the fruit! Explain Guillermo.  
-Look," said Colin as he show to Laszlo a picture on his phone.  
-Ugh, it look even worse than that Nandor described.

Because a soup with a dead turtle floating in the middle sounds yummy, wanted to shout Guillermo but he holds back.

-Can you cook with this fruit, Guillermo? Ask Nandor.  
-Yes, actually, avocados are part of the traditional Mexican cuisine.  
-Because in addition to being a descendant of an honorable pinata breeder, you have ancestors who know how to cook this luxury fruit? You're more practical than you look, Nandor says happily.  
-Thank master.  
-I'll still will give you apples and other thing from my garden for the less adventurous. Also, I'm going to send the little one as a taster. We can't trust only your word, Laszlo said disdainfully.  
-Colin Robinson, come with us. Guillermo needs all his energy to prepare the buffet, Nandor demanded.

The three vampires leave the kitchen to Guillermo's relief. He could get back to his heavy work. Even if he had to admit that it didn't bother him any more than that. He loved to cook and he was an excellent baker. But those weren't talents you often use when you work for a vampire. And with any luck, he would have enough leftovers from the buffet so he could eat well for the rest of the week (he was pretty sure that Nadja and Laszlo wouldn't want their precious daughter to eat table scraps).

*****

-All right, what do you think of this one? Ask Nadja.  
-I think you're very pretty, Jenna says.  
-Jenna, you think I look pretty in everything I've tried. And you, sweetheart?  
-You look weird, Juliet said.

The doll sitting on the child's lap shook her head, unimpressed.

-At least that's the bloody tenth human outfit I've tried on!  
-Nadja, just get something you're comfortable in, my parents are going to bitch no matter what, says Jenna.  
-You could take some clothes from the store I showed you on Colin Robinson's computer, Juliet suggested.  
-Sweetheart, I know you're looking forward to being old enough to dress like this, and I accept that this is a phase your father and I will have to let you go through but your mother refuses to wear Hot Subject herself.  
-Knock-knock, can they come in? Nandor asked.  
-Sure, said Nadja discouraged.  
-Hey Nadja, you want to become the sixth spice girl, goth spice? Colin asked.  
-Shut up, Colin Robinson. I'm stressed out enough without you adding to it! Nadja growled.  
-Bantling? Call Laszlo. -I have a special mission for you.  
-What is it? Juliet ask excitedly.  
-I want you to make sure Gizmo doesn't screw up the buffet. Since you're the only one among us who can eat human food and I take your word for it, unlike Gizmo, you're the only one who can do it.  
-I'm going right now!

Before leaving the room, Juliet realized she still had the doll in her arms.

-Mama, can I bring her with me? Juliet asked.

Nadja looked at the doll to see her make a discreet gesture with its head.

-Sure, just don't get her dirty.  
-I promise!

And Juliet left with the doll.

-She really loves this toy, says Nandor.  
-Indeed, she and Nadja can spend hours playing with it, say Laszlo.  
-She looks antique, it from when you were a human? ask Jenna to her lover.  
-Yes, good eye, baby, said Nadja before quickly changing the subject. -As long as you're bothering us, make yourself useful: there's something you think is good in there? says Nadja, pointing to the different outfits on the hangers.  
-Why don't you just take the outfit I bought you? Laszlo said.  
-Laszlo, I'm not putting on a cheerleader outfit! It doesn't make any sense!  
-Yes, it is. You came back from practice after school and didn't have time to change.  
-On a Saturday? And I'm hosting Jenna's family that we've been waiting for in my uniform that I've probably been sweating in all day and I'm sure you're take two sizes too small.  
-Oh yes, Laszlo answer with foggy eyes and a big smile. -...What? It's supposed to be close to the body and short!  
-Let me see, Colin says, starting to look at the clothes.  
-You? said Nadja scornfully.  
-Who passes most unnoticed but presentable here? Colin replied.  
-Fair. What's your recommend?

Colin did a little digging before giving her several choices.

-That's...not bad. Not what I would normally wear, but it's pretty, says Nadja surprise.  
-Your goal is to blend in with your surroundings while remaining natural, explain Colin.  
-So your clothes are a calculated choice? For hunting? Nandor said surprised.  
-Yeah.  
-That's dedication, said Laszlo.  
-Do we also have to dress differently? Nandor asked.  
-Go a head you want. I'll dress simply but with my usual clothes, answer Laszlo. -No offense, Jenna, but they're not my in-laws.  
-Oh, of course. I mean, thank you all again for making such an effort for me, I don't know what to say... answer Jenna embarrassed.  
-That you are ready for the day when one of us needs help against his archnemesis, Nandor says.  
-Is it that common? Ask Jenna.  
-Yes," replied all the vampires in chorus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) I know that turtle soup is still eaten in many places and according to my father, it is delicious. But it's going to be a solid no for me because A) I love these little beasts and B) I know that the mock turtle in Alice in Wonderland is based on the fact that many replaced the turtle in the soup with head, hooves and calf's tail to save money because the taste and texture were similar. You know, the worst pieces. So I'll pass.  
> 2) Peacocks were once a luxury dish who was appreciated by Ivan the Terrible and also considered a traditional Christmas dish in England. Never tried it but open to the idea. I don't know if you can eat koala but you can eat kangaroo (sorry to tell you but it's delicious).  
> 3)For those who are surprised by my choice of Colin so knowledgeable in fashion, given that there are his pictures of him always showing him in appropriate attire for the time and discreet makes me think that his look is a deliberate choice.


	6. Final arrangements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The vampires are almost ready and the ice is getting thinner for Guillermo.

-Guillermo, would you hurry up? Nandor asked.  
-I'm doing my best, master," says Guillermo, pushing the furniture and placing the seats.  
-I'll help you, Jenna decided.  
-Jenna, you didn't... started Nadja.  
-My pleasure, it keeps me busy and it'll be quicker that way.  
-It's true that with the visit of you’re family and the last events, Colin began.  
-Colin Robinson, shut up, growled Laszlo.  
-No, what's he talking about? Jenna asked.  
-We know of vampires who have passed away for good," Nadja explained.  
-Who? Guillermo asked.  
-David and Star and several members of their groups, Nandor continued.  
-Nandor, it's none of his business! Laszlo gets angry.  
-David and Star? Jenna asked surprise.  
-I know, everyone has told them this joke at least once, says Nadja.  
-Are they friends of yours? Juliet asked as she joined them.  
-We'll talk about it later, honey." Nadja started, but Nandor continued.  
-Acquaintance, but they were brave vampires... Actually, you met them. The twins took care of you.  
-Nandor, she was two years old, Laszlo said.  
-Why did the twins take care of me?" Juliet continued.  
-Star asked the twins to help because we didn't think we'd come to the bi-annual meeting that took place in their home because we didn't have a familiar and Gizmo was busy," says Laszlo.  
-My uncle was in intensive care!," says Guillermo.  
-He's alive, isn't he? It couldn't have been that bad!  
-Doesn't matter, Nadja said. - So we let Calie and Lacie babysit you for the weekend. They are too young physically to attend the meeting but they could come and pick us up in case of a problem.  
-I think we have a picture," said Nandor, pulling an album from a shelf.

Juliet made a gesture to take it out of Nandor's hands, but he lifted it out of her reach.

-Vampire Secret, I'm going to find the photo, says Nandor. -No, no, oh definitely not that one, no, no, no, hey why does it say Laszlo on that one?  
-Let me see, says Nadja. -Oh, that's his leg there.  
-Isn't that guy's leg? Nandor asked.  
-No, it's definitely my leg. Believe me, I felt it when…  
-Guys, my parents are coming in a maximum of half an hour...  
-I've got it! Nandor shouted. -That's what I'm talking about.

Guillermo thinks he's gonna throw up. In the photo, there is Juliet as a little girl with two blonde girls around 11-12 years old, dressed in 1970s fashion.

-Guillermo, are you all right? Nandor asked.  
-Yeah, just... they look so young. I just think it's so sad that they're dead.  
-No one said they were among the victims, says Nandor.

Guillermo's heart skips a beat.

-It was kind of implied, Nandor. Why else would you talk like that about them? Colin replied.  
-Are they dead for real? Juliet asked.  
-Yes, darling. David, Star, Lacie, Calie, Dwayne, Paul, Marco, Laddie and many others, said Nadja.  
-It's sad even if I don't remember them.  
-I know, but try not to think about it right now. Go finish to getting ready before Jenna's family showed up , concluded Nadja.  
-Alright. 

After Juliet left the room, Laszlo turned to Colin.

-Did you really need to say that in front of her?  
-It's called being careful, Laszlo replied Colin.  
-Even if that happened, she's human, Jenna tried.  
-Some have no scruples about hurting familiars, so why have any for the child of a nosferatus? The majority would just assume she's a dhampir and be done with it, said Nandor.  
-Some hunter bitch tried to take her out of her crib. Her skull is in my collection now, Nadja says coldly.  
-Still, just under a dozen vampires killed by a single hunter, says Colin.  
-One? There were five of them, don't be ridiculous! Nandor got angry.  
-Yeah, five: one killed like a bug, three incompetent, and one who did the slaughtering, that's the guy you should be afraid of.  
-Can we talk about something else? asked Guillermo.  
-Did we scare you, Guillermo?Ask Nandor. - It's okay, just go get the food while me and the others finish up.  
-Why do I have to move the furniture just because Mister Gizmo pees in his pants? Laszlo got angry.  
-Do you want to help him in the kitchen? Nadja asked frustrated.  
-No. I'll take care of the furniture.  
-I'm going to help him with the dishes, says Jenna following Guillermo.

******

-Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Did you meet this guy? Jenna asked, once they were alone.  
-No, I've only been here for a few weeks.

He's not really lying. You can't meet yourself! And he killed a maximum of five vampires... in this house. If he counts them all... it's at least twenty-four.

-Do you think he's some kind of ex-Special Forces operative or a chosen one like Buffy? Or maybe even something like a descendant of Van Helsing?ask Jenna.  
-What? asked Guillermo, thinking he would have a heart condition before the end of the year.  
\- I don't know. I just say whatever pops into my head. Would that be so crazy?  
-It's a book of fiction, tempted Guillermo.  
-You're right, sorry I have so much more to learn. And I know I'm lucky, I understand that most vampires are like mama birds, they throw you out of the nest uneducated. I wonder how Nandor and Nadja did it all alone?  
-I don't know. But let's focus on the immediate: Can you take the quesadilla ring please?  
-Okay, hum...Guillermo, if it gets too dangerous, maybe you should get out while you still can.  
-It's fine, they don't have much respect for familiars... like a lot of vampires, but they won't hurt me. Or hurt a human child!  
-If you say so. What'll I get now?  
-The teapot, it's full of blood. Laszlo's idea, they'll just hypnotize your family to make them believe it just normal tea. That way, you and the others could eat a little.  
-I'm still worried about what happened with their neighbor.  
-It's safer to use it on small details than on something important.  
-If you say so. Did we bring out the desserts too?  
-I would've said no, but seeing as the stand of afternon tea is includes pastries in addition to sandwiches, you may as well put everything if there some space for it except for what needs to stay cool until the end. Jenna?  
-Yes?  
-Everything is going to be fine. 

Guillermo doesn't know who he's trying to convince: Jenna or himself.

******

-So I chose my human outfit, said Nadja talking to the camera.

Nadja has a tank top, a pair of jeans and ballerinas (everything is black). Her hair is styled in two little buns. The necklace Jenna gave her and some earrings made of the same material. She wore makeup that was a little more discreet than her usual choice. The picture Guillermo took with his phone looks promising.

-This is the first time I've met the family of one of my lovers. Unless you count Laszlo's sister, but I'm not sure it counts if you have a lovely time with them. But I'm confident...  
-No, you're not, said the doll.

Nadja grunts frustrated.

******

-All right, I admit it. It's very nice aesthetically, says Laszlo. -Even Satan's snot is presentable.  
-Laszlo, don't call avocado by that name, Nandor got angry. -You're really disdainful for someone who doesn't eat anymore.  
-It's like when you yelled at Gizmo for giving your daughter mashed potatoes, said Colin.  
-It's poor people's food... I mean animal food!  
-Do you know that potato consumption in Canada was encouraged by Irish immigrants who left the country during the Great Famine, Colin began to explain.  
-What? Colin Robinson, why did you find out stuff about Canada, that wasn't even part of the plan for domination? asked Nandor.  
-Oh, just a fun fact that I learned from my gift from Jenna :Canada's Historical Guide’ Book.  
-Lucifer takes pity on us, sighs Laszlo.  
-Fucking girl, Nandor growled.

******

The doorbell rang.

-I'll get it," said Jenna, running to the door.

-Welcome!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1)I tried to get inspiration from clothes worn by Natasia Demetriou (I wanted to put a dress on her because she have such pretty dress but I thought that pants would make more sense because Nadja would try what she thinks is more stereotypical student).  
> 2) Potatoes were considered just good enough for animals or the poor. I'm still shocked by all the delicious food that was unfairly treated a long time ago (corn, watermelon and lobster to name only the most popular ones).  
> 3) Congratulations if you got the reference with the vampire family.  
> 4) Now you have all the gifts that Jenna brought back to the others.


	7. The guests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna's family comes in and one of the vampires sacrifices himself for the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is the first big chapter. I hope you enjoy it anyway.  
> Also, I'm so sorry I named Jenna's stepfather Jim. Because Jim the vampire doesn't deserve to share his name with him.

-Good evening, Jenna," said her mother.  
-Hey Jenna," said Seth with a smile.   
-Nice to see you all, please come in," said Jenna, feeling like she was dying again.

The whole family came into the house.

-Oh, it's a... peculiar place, said Jenna's mom looking out over the lobby.  
-Difficult to find too, complains Jenna's stepfather.  
-I'm sorry, I thought my instructions were clear…  
-No, said Jim.  
-I'll gonna call the others.  
-It's all right, we're here," said Nadja appearing with the others at the top of the stairs.  
-Perfect, then let me do the introductions: this is my girlfriend, Nadja.  
-Nice to meet you.  
-Her brother-in-law Laszlo and his daughter Juliet.  
-Pleased to meet you," Laszlo said as Juliet curtsied.  
-And the rest of my roommates: Nandor, Colin Robinson and Guillermo.  
-Hi, said Nandor.  
-Good evening, I hope you had a good trip, says Guillermo.

Colin reached out his hand, but no one shook it.

-And this is my mother, Becky and her husband Jim. My half-brother Seth, my brother Jacob and my little sister Bethany. 

Jenna's mother was a small brunette like her daughter. Her husband was a tall man with dark blond hair and his the style of cloths not too far from that of Colin Robinson. Seth must have been a few years older than Jenna and looked a lot like a more laid-back version of his father with with reddish-brown hair and glass. Jacob must have been 13 years old, wearing a video game T-shirt, three stubble under his nose, and a look on his face that said he'd rather be anywhere else. And finally Bethany also looks like her mother and Jenna but with blonde curls, hanging on her mother's hand, she must have been one or two years older than Juliet.

-Hi, you... look a little different than I expected, says Jenna's mom to Nadja.  
-Different how? Nadja asked.  
-Pink hair and a tongue ring, Seth says.  
-No, I like my hair the way it is and only my ears are pierced, says Nadja amused.  
-Do you want me to take your coats? Guillermo suggested.

Jenna's stepfather threw his coat to him and the two children's coats. Jenna noticed that Nandor's mouth twisted at Jim's actions but nothing more. Becky and Seth would give theirs too, and she heard Seth thank him.

-If you'll follow me, Laszlo said. -We've got it all set up in the fancy room.  
-But first, says Nadja and the other vampires joined her (they had rehearsed to make sure no accidents happen).  
-You won't notice any film crew, the coffins you'll see as beds and our blood, tea, say the four in chorus. 

The rest of the family were nodding their heads, staring blankly.  
-Now we are ready, says Nadja.

*****

-Settle wherever you want, Nandor says.  
-Oh that's...a interesting decore, says Jenna's mom’s as settled and looked around. . -A little too full, for example, you should take a look at Mary Kondo.  
-And lose Jenna? Seth laughed gently. -Admit it, that's how they got you, with all this old stuff!  
-Seth, don't insult her, Becky said coldly.  
-No, it's fine. It's true that I like all those antiques," says Jenna with a smile.

She went to sit on the same couch as Nadja when her mother made a coughing noise.

-Jenna, don't you want to sit with us? Haven't seen you in a long time.  
-She can sit wherever she wants, Jenna's stepfather said annoyed.   
-I think it's better this way anyway," says Guillermo. -There are a lot of us and we need to get everyone settled. 

The arrangement finally makes Jenna feel like she's in a hostage situation. She's sitting on the sofa with Nadja when his parents took the one in front of them. Colin had taken his usual chair, a little backwards but on their side. Two other chairs were occupied by Nandor and by Laszlo. Juliet was sitting on what would normally be a footrest who match her father's seat. They had brought other seats from other rooms for the rest of the family: Jacob was left with the seat with a top what seemed to suit him, Bethany had taken the upholstered chair from Nandor's room, Guillermo and Seth ended up with the chairs from the music room. The buffet table seems to be the border.

-Guillermo could you guide everyone through the menu if you like? Nandor asked.  
-Of course, Ma... Nandor. Here we have a quesadilla ring, sweet and savoury grilled avocados, chips, crudités with hummus, deed-fried deviled egg, pig in a blanket, salad, mini pizza, nuggets, samosa, casino clam, cheese and charcuterie, mini-sandwiches, scones, pastries including a three-chocolate fondue bread boat.   
-It's a lot of variety," says Jenna's mom.  
-We wanted to make sure you'd find something to your liking and I'll be honest, I was happy to cook a little bit of everything.   
-You did all this? Jenna's stepfather asked.  
-Almost everything, yes," said Guillermo.  
-Are you sure this is suitable for my children? He continued.  
-Uh, Jenna tells me you're not a practicing and that none of you have any allergies, Guillermo said embarrassed. -But if there's one ingredient you're worried about...  
-I mean, if it's too spicy or tastes too weird, Jenna's stepfather continued.  
-Jim, I'm sure Jacob and Bethany... started Jenna.  
-I didn't ask your opinion," Jim continued. -I don't want them to get sick.  
-Juliet, ask Nadja.   
-Yes, Auntie Nadja?  
-You're a child and you eat food cooked by Guillermo regularly. You want to reassure Mr. Mercy-Bro…  
-It's Mr. Brown. Mercy, is the last name of Jenna's father.  
-Like Edgar Allan Poe? Colin asked. -He was born Edgar Poe but took the name of his adoptive family, Allan, in addition to keeping the name of his biological parents. In fact, his sister that some people think was actually his half-sister but that could be created by...  
-Boring, Jacob grunted as he started playing on his phone.

He didn't foresee four vampires turning their heads almost simultaneously in his direction. 

-That's not very polite, says Laszlo.  
-It's nothing, Laszlo. Maybe we can talk about something he's more interested in, like school or his girlfriend if he has one," Colin suggested.

*******

Colin alone

-I'm not saying that all teenagers are easy to bore or annoy...but it's definitely easy to find.

******

Return to the group.

-Jacob's not the one we're here for, cut off Jenna's mom. -Then your niece can answer and we can start eating in addition to solving the problem. Unless we wait for your sister?  
-The food is good, says Juliet. -Guillermo's a really good chief.  
-Thank you," said Guillermo. -I'll bring out the refreshments. Who will make you happy? We have juice, soda, coffee…  
-Black and regular coffee preferably, says Jenna's stepfather. -Just bring whatever you got in juices and sodas for the kids to choose from.  
-If you have a rosé, I'll have a glass, Jenna's mother said.  
-A beer if you've got any, otherwise just water please, Seth says.  
-Oh, you're gonna drink and drive? Jenna's mom asked coldly.  
-I came by taxi, just in case," Seth replied.  
-I'm going to check if we have any alcohol, nobody's a heavy drinker here. I'll be right back with the rest.

Jenna felt like he was in a hurry to get out of the room.

-And it won't necessarily be, says Laszlo. -I am sadly widowed, my dear Nadia has tragically died," says Laszlo with a tremolo in his voice.  
-How did this happen…  
-It hurts too much to talk about, says Laszlo still dramatic. -And my dear sister-in-law offered to live with her to ease my child's pain.  
-I like living with Auntie Nadja and her friends, says Juliet.

Guillermo, feeling the scorch with Laszlo's over-emotion and Juliet's lack of emotion, decided to take matters into his own hands.

-If you're worried, I'll do something else, that's okay.  
-Good idea, if the kids don't like it, we'll stop at a fast food restaurant, says Jenna's mom.   
-I'll pass you the plates," said Guillermo as he took out a packet of porcelain plates with floral designs.   
-Are you sure you want to use this? Seth asked. -It looks expensive.  
-Of course, we never get a chance to use them," answered Nadja.

The dishes were handed out, but just as Juliet took hers, Bethany stepped in:   
-I want that one! The flowers are blue like my dress!  
-I'm sure she'd be happy to give it to you, Jenna's mom said.

Juliet almost licks the plate out of spite but holds herself back when she sees Jenna's expression. She had seen some of her parents' meals less terrified.

-You're our guest, it's my pleasure. Lupin suits you better than me anyway, says Juliet.

It was subtle, but Jenna saw Nadja take a warning look at her daughter. 

-And camellia for you, decided Laszlo by giving her another plate.  
-Thank you, papa.  
-Coffee's ready, no rosé or beer sorry. But I found a red bottle if anyone wants some. Juice and soft drinks are in the cooler, said Guillermo while handing out the drinks.

Jim looked at the coffee as if he thought Guillermo had spat in it while Becky said:   
-I guess I'll have to settle for that.  
-It's perfect, I'll mix it with some juice and make myself a poor man's maguerita, thank you Guillermo? Am I pronouncing it right? Seth asked.  
-Perfectly," assured Guillermo.

Jenna thinks that even if she could still eat real food, she wouldn't be able to. All the vampires took some food symbolically. But Colin plays with more than anything else, Laszlo dropped what seemed to interest Juliet on her plate when no one's was looking and Nandor did the same with Guillermo.

-So, Jenna, how did you and your... friend meet? Because it seems to me the last time we spoke you were dating a nice boy, ask her mom.   
-Yeah, he wasn't that nice, Jenna explained.  
-Quite the opposite, in fact, said Nadja, squeezing her girlfriend's hand.  
-Of course you think that, says Jenna's mom with a smile that doesn't reach her eyes.  
-Seriously, mom, he was really...Jenna said, looking for her words.  
-A poor excuse of a man, but perhaps avoided such a dark subject in front of the younger ones? asked Laszlo.  
-We met at the university," says Nadja.  
\- I see. You're taking your time to finish your studies.  
-I have a medical degree but I have to get it recognised so I took my classes here," explained Nadja, looking at Laszlo and Colin to make sure she was saying the right thing.  
-At least a degree will get you somewhere, says Jenna's stepfather.

Nadja realized it was an attack on Jenna when she saw her expression.

-Yes, Jenna and I are lucky, there will always be sick people to cure and museums with artwork to restore.  
-But your degree must be recognized, Jim insisted. -Where exactly are you from?  
-I have gypsy blood, says Nadja. -And given the political situation in my village, it's more easier to say I'm from the Balkan.   
-And where are the Balkans? Jenna's stepfather insisted.  
-It is a geographical region consisting of Bulgaria, Croatia, Greece, Romania and Slovenia, but people sometimes also include Albania, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Kosovo, Northern Macedonia, Montenegro, Serbia and Turkey, Colin explained.  
-That's enough, thank you, cut it off Jenna's mom. -So how does it work exactly? Is this a home for international students? I'm not sure you can stay here if it is, Jenna.  
-The house is in my name, Colin says. I had a good inheritance but a big house for one person is a little sad. I've heard from mutual acquaintances that Nandor, Nadja, Laszlo and his late wife were looking for a place to stay. Guillermo arrived later and Jenna is our newest addition.  
-How are you all connected? Jenna's mother insisted.   
-My sister and I had to leave our home village because of political instability and our origins. We travelled to England where my sister met Laszlo.  
-Love at first sight, Laszlo says. -Very romantic.  
-And we met Nandor, who was back in Europe on business. He offered an opportunity to my sister and her husband. And I followed to stay close to my family.  
-Do you regularly travel to Europe? asked Jenna's stepfather to Nandor.  
-Not in the last few years, but I needed partners for work.  
-Where are you from?  
-Al Qualadar, Nandor answered.  
-Nandor maybe…  
-Oh, you're right, Guillermo. My country is now sadly dissolved. But it was originally in southern Iraq, Nandor corrected himself with a smile.

Jenna could hear Jim's heart playing like drum solo.

-Papa, says Juliet.  
-Yes, Bantling? Laszlo asked.  
-Can I get a fairy-cake before they're all gone, please?  
-Of course, darling," said Laszlo, taking the desert from the plate, in addition to a little bit of everything for his daughter, getting the look of teenage hatred and a plaintive pout from Bethany.

-I know she's young, but you shouldn't baby talk her, says Jenna's mom.  
-I've never baby talk my daughter since she was mine, Laszlo said coldly.  
-In that case, she should be able to use the real word, right? It's cupcake, not fairy-cake. A grown five-year-old girl should know that," Jenna's mom continued.  
-I'm gonna be eight, Juliet says.

She can tolerate her parents' friends not being sure of her age, time passes differently for them. But there's no way she letting this go with a human.

-So it's even more important that you use the right words," Becky insisted.  
-She's using the real word, she's just using British terminology because her father is British, Laszlo continued coldly.  
-Using slang is not using real words," Jenna's mother insisted.

Laszlo was losing his patience, but his wife's warning look, Jenna's frightened look and Colin's fluroscent eyes made him calm down.

-Agree to disagree, ended up saying Laszlo.  
-And you how long have been here? Jenna's stepfather asked to Guillermo.  
-Guillermo has been working for me for 10 years... Nandor replied.  
-I was born here," says Guillermo. -And Nandor means that we've been working together for eleven years.  
-Already eleven years old? Nandor says.   
-Yes, already," said Guillermo, forcing a smile.  
-Ah. What exactly is you’re job? Jenna's stepfather insisted.  
-Human resource. Colin Robinson explains it better than I do, for example, so maybe…  
-With pleasure, said Colin accepting the appetizer offered by Guillermo and began to feed on Jim.  
-Jenna, aren't you eating? Becky asked. -And since when do you drink tea?  
-You always say I eat too much and I've been drinking tea since the beginning of college," Jenna says nervously.  
-You look really pale, too. A real living corpse, kept complaining about Jenna's mother.  
-I assure you that your daughter is the liveliest thing alive, Nadja says quickly. -Believe me, I'm a medical student.  
-We'll see what supplements you need, says Becky ignoring Nadja.  
-Mom, it's okay, I'm telling you…  
-Ouch! What the hell? shouted Jacob, holding his hand.  
-What happened, baby? Jenna's mom asked her son.  
-He hit me, Jacob said, pointing at Laszlo.  
-How dare you…  
-I gave him a little slap on the wrist after he tried to take food off my daughter's plate. He's, like what fourteen years old? And he looks healthy in body and mind, is it too much to ask to understand the basics of politeness?  
-He's thirtheen years old!  
-Mom!  
-So he's too young to understand? In that case, I apologize, said Laszlo.

Laszlo almost laughs at the appalled look on the teenager's face.

-She took the last mini-pizza, the teenager defended himself.  
-She ate half of it," said Julie, pointing to Bethany.

Bethany's face contracted as if Juliet had insulted her.

-She called me fat! The little girl complains.  
-I'm a lady, I never go that low even if...," Juliet replied before she met her mother's gaze. -But I'm sorry if I hurt you’re feeling.  
-It's not like she has a lot of options," Jenna's stepfather defended.  
-There's enough food for everyone," Nandor remarked.  
-Maybe, but not much they like," Jim replied. -Most of you have barely eaten anything. Only your kid and the... chef seems to like it.

All the vampires had a moment's panic before issuing their excuses:  
-I've eaten a little," said Colin, pointing to his plate. -I just don't have a big appetite.  
-Nervousness has ruined my appetite, says Nadja.  
-I'm trying to allow my child to eat first because some people stealing her food right off her plate," Laszlo grunted.  
-I've eaten, Nandor says. -And I'm happy to take everything again because Guillermo is an excellent cook who has spent time preparing a complex and varied menu with the best ingredients!  
-Really? Jenna's mom asked questionably.  
-Of course! Guillermo give me a little bit of everything.  
-Nandor, I'm not sure..., starts Guillermo by throwing panic looks at the others.  
-Go ahead, I'm still hungry, insisted Nandor. -Just avoid anything with garlic.  
-Is it for religious reasons? Seth asked.  
-He has a severe garlic allergy. Projectile vomit, explained Nadja.  
-Luckily Gizmo didn't think to put it in any dish, Colin said cheerfully while Nadja gave him a murderous look.

Guillermo prepares the plate, trying to take the smallest portions possible before giving it to Nandor. He takes it, puts it on his lap before noticing everyone is looking at him.

-What?  
-Are you going to eat? Jenna's mom asked.

Nandor realizes at that moment what a mess he's gotten himself into. But he's a soldier and he refuses to surrender.

-Of course, he answers with a smile and start eating.

Jenna watches Nandor who seems to eat normally but everyone else's reaction is something: Guillermo is crammed into his chair, looking legitimately worried, while Colin Robinson, also crammed into his chair, looks like the person preparing for a roller coaster ride. Laszlo brought Juliet back to him and raised his arm slightly in case she needed protection. Juliet watches him fascinated like a child seeing another child do something stupid and wonders if he's going to get away with it. Nadja has the face of someone who watches the contestants on a TV show swallow live bugs. 

-It's worse than watching the geek, she whispers to Jenna.

Nandor finishes his plate completely, not even a trace of sauce was left. Maybe it's a talent that vampires develop after a certain age, Jenna thinks, remembering that he's older than them. Her parents have lost interest in him. Nandor stood there with a polite smile, silent and ...a noise was heard.

Everyone turned to Nandor who had put one hand on his belly and squeezed his lips. Nadja was the first to react, beckoning Jenna and Laszlo to join her:  
-You will stand still for fifteen minutes and resume your actions as if nothing had happened!

Then she turned to Nandor, shouting at him:  
-Go to the bloody bathroom!

That's all it took for Nandor to rush to the bathroom.

-Don't just stand there, go help him! Nadja continued to scream to Guillermo.

Guillermo got up without a word, looking worried and joined his master as quickly as he could.

-Is Nandor going to be alright? Juliet asked her father.

A violent vomiting was heard, followed by several others and Guillermo's panic scream.

-Of course, Bantling. Nandor is a strong lad, Laszlo said with a reassuring expression before silently telling the others when his daughter turned her head:I have no fucking idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Nandor will survive, I swear.  
> 2)The language of flowers was something common in Victorian times. And they didn't just say nice things (the orange lilies meant I hate you!). Sounds like something old-fashioned and passive-aggressive that Laszlo would teach his daughter. Lupin means to desire something intensely (basically Juliet is calling her entiled). Camellia means, you're adorable.


	8. Little threat between friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tension's running high, and someone takes after her father.

Guillermo knew that vampires couldn't eat human food without getting sick. However,the fact that they seemed to magically multiply by 10 what they had in their stomach was new information. Guillermo tries his best to help his master while he was ill, but the toilet, the washbasin and even the bath go through it. Honestly, given the state of the bathroom, Guillermo thinks they might need professionals. Or just burn it all down and condemn the room. 

-How are you feeling, master? Ask Guillermo.  
-What do you think? Like shit!

Nandor felt a new wave of acid and Guillermo had just enough time to grab the vampire's hair while he got sick again. When he was finished, Guillermo dared to ask:  
-Have you…  
-If I throw up again, my guts will come out! Jenna better be thankful I did all this for her!

Guillermo chewed his lips not to point out to Nandor that he was the one who put himself in this position alone.

-I'm sure she will be. Would you like some water to gargle in?  
-Yes please.

Guillermo comes back quickly with a bottle of water and handed it to Nandor who rinsed his mouth.  
After a while, Nandor finally said:  
-That was good.  
-What?  
-The avocado tasted good, it went bad once I swallowed it, but before that, I liked it. If I, a vampire and a king enjoyed it, I don't know what they're complaining about. I just want you to know that I'm satisfied with your work.   
-Thank master.  
-It's no big deal.  
-Do you think you can join the others or do you want to rest?  
-I just need to clean up a little and... maybe change my clothes?  
-That will be a good idea.

******

-The 15 minutes will soon be up, Jenna says worried.  
-We don't hear them any more," says Laszlo. -That must be a good sign.  
-If Nandor is really in bad shape, we may have to freeze them for another 15 minutes, says Nadja worried.  
-Oh maybe just go see what's going on... Jenna started.

That's when Nandor and Guillermo reappear: Nandor had changed some of his clothes and his already pale complexion had taken on a greenish-grey hue. Guillermo seemed worried and ready to pounce on the vampire at the slightest sign of trouble.

-Are you sure you..." Nadja began.  
-Yes, I just wouldn't be the most social host, Nandor warns her.  
-At which point the bathroom... started Laszlo.  
-We're going to have to use the one in the basement for a while, maybe forever," says Guillermo.  
-Great, it had to be the one with the big tub, Laszlo complains.  
-They're not on pause anymore, warns Juliet.  
-So like I was saying... did you change your shirt? Jenna's mom asked.  
-No, says Nandor.  
-I swore I would…  
-Me too," said Colin, ignoring the threatening look in other people's eyes.  
-He didn't leave the room, Mom, Jenna said.  
-Unless he's the road runner, laughs Seth, attracting the angry eyes of his stepmother.  
-Never mind, let's get back to cases since we're done eating.   
-Mommy, can I have your phone to play with? Bethany asked.  
-Not now, honey, but you and your brother could go play with the little girl, Juliet.  
-It's not a bad idea," says Nadja, not noticing Jenna's expression of panic.-They can play in her room or even in the garden.  
-You're not gonna send them to play in the dark! Jenna's mom said horrified.  
-We've got lights, the neighbourhood is safe and it's only 7:00 a.m., said Laszlo.  
-Only? Nandor whined as Guillermo patted him on the shoulder.  
-I also think it might not be a good idea," says Guillermo, thinking about the well, the carp pond, the multitudes of corpses buried in the garden without forgetting the vulva topiary of Laszlo.  
-Actually, Tina Fey has a scar on her cheek from being assaulted as a child in her backyard…  
-Thank you Guillermo and Colin Robinson for that update, Nadja interrupted him. -The children can play in Juliet's room in this case, the curiosity room or even in the basement.

Juliet left the footrest to join Laszlo in his seat.

-What am I being punished for? I was polite to the guests! she whispered to her father.

Laszlo took pity on his daughter and replied:  
-Bantling, why don't you take the electrical toys out of the cupboard if you get bored? You can even watch a movie on one of Colin Robinson's computers, I'm sure he won't mind.  
-Sure, says Colin decided not to feed people who had not yet finished growing.  
-Why do I have to babysit for free? asked Jacob.  
-A child can't babysit another child, Laszlo said coldly.   
-I'm not a child.  
-In the eyes of the law, as long as you can't drink, smoke, vote, marry without parental consent, join the army or pay taxes, you are a child," Colin explained.  
-Jacob, we'll put it in your allowance, just say Jenna's stepfather.  
-...All right, fine.  
-Follow me," said Juliet with a solemn expression.

Once the kids left the room, Jenna knew things were about to get serious.

-You've never done this with me. Or Jenna, Seth says.  
-Seth, don't make a scene," Jenna's mom said coldly.  
-I'm noticing, that all, Seth said as he took a sip from his glass.  
-I'm not paying for his sister. I'm paying for the other kid, defended himself Jenna's stepfather.  
-It's true that at almost eight years old, there's still a risk of strangling yourself with a piece of lego," says Laszlo with a venomous smile.  
-Laszlo…  
Nadja's threatening tone had stopped seeing the expression of her two loved ones: the terrified look on Jenna's face and the vicious one on Laszlo's. Damn it, if she had known... 

-Maybe we could get to the heart of the matter," says Becky.

*****

-So, we keep the consoles and game systems here, explain Juliet by opening a closet.  
-How the hell do you guys have all this stuff? Jacob said, sounding impressed.  
-Uh, it's from Colin Robinson's lost and found at work and gifts from friends.

Juliet alone.

-A lot of virgins have electronic toys. Mama, Papa and Nandor don't care. Colin, if it's not a computer, he doesn't care neither. Usually Guillermo and Jenna take care of it. We keep some for them and I, sometimes give some to friends and the rest Guillermo sells it on the internet.

Return to the children

-If you want one to keep, be my guest.

She didn't have to tell them twice.

-You can come see my room if you want," said Juliet, forcing a smile.  
-Go ahead, I've got a text to do.  
-All right," said Juliet, taking Bethany with her.

*****

-I think we deserve an explanation for what happened this year, says Jenna's mother coldly.  
-I'm sorry I worried you, it was really tough…  
-Tough? I'm curious to know what was so hard that you didn't come to thankgiving or the holidays," her mother continued.  
-College was really hard on Jenna...tried to defend Nadja.  
-I'd like to hear it from her," Becky replied.  
-It was hard, I was stressed and I was finding out new things about myself, Mom. Then I got sick and there was this whole thing with Shanice…

Jenna felt the tears rise in her eyes as she thought of the young people killed by the monster and the look of hatred, then fear of Shanice.

-Jenna? asked Seth suddenly worried when he saw her expression. -What's happened?  
-Can I explain, Jenna? Guillermo asked softly, sending the girl to be upset.  
-Please, Jenna said as Nadja put an arm around her shoulders.

Colin received a dose of anger that he found bitter as he looked at Becky.

-Several students from Jenna's college, including a close friend who was also her roomate, died in an accident. A ride collapsed on them, explained Guillermo. -There's a little article in the paper, I can find it for you if you like.  
-I'm so sorry, Seth says.  
-It's okay, but I didn't want to stay in my room after that so Nadja and the others invited me to come and live with them. This is also the reason why I accepted the internship, I needed a change of scenery.  
-You could have come home to rest," her mother insisted. -And why didn't you bring it up?  
-I didn't know how? says Jenna sincerely.  
-Was it a paid internship? Jim asked.  
-Uh, yeah, why?  
-The ambulance, you're going to have to pay for it, Jim says.  
-We can talk about this at home, Becky says.  
-Home? Mom, Jim isn't going to wait until the next vacation for the money, Jenna says quickly.  
-Who said anything about waiting till then? You've been away for so long, you don't realize how much everyone's missed you!  
-I have classes to complete, so we'll probably have to... started Jenna.  
-Jenna could pay you and we could have another souper, maybe at your place next week? suggested Colin ignoring Nadja's murderous stare. -Unless you want to spend the night?  
-We definitely don't have room for everyone to be comfortable, Colin Robinson," Laszlo said coldly.  
-I agree, it's a really bad idea, Jenna's stepfather says.  
-Are you running out of room? Jenna's mom asked.  
-I have my own room, Jenna says.  
-For you alone? Becky insisted.  
-Yes, we're still setting up, but we're making progress...  
-May I see?

The tone sends a message to Jenna that it's not really a question.

-Sure.

*****

-This is my room," Juliet said as she invited Bethany to come.  
-You have a princess bed?  
-You mean a canopy? Yes, it's more convenient for protection from the sun.

Maybe she wasn't so bad after all.

-Why?  
-When the sun shines in the afternoon, it's more easier to sleep through my nap…  
-You take naps like a baby? Bethany laughed.

And no, she's just a nasty little pest.

-No, I just sleep in the afternoon so I can stay up till 3 in the morning.Everybody knows there's nothing good on TV before 10:00 at night. Have you ever stayed up this late?  
-Even later! Bethany says.  
-Of course," said Juliet, rolling her eyes.  
-Why do you have all this dead animals in your room? Bethany said, changing the subject. -Why do you even have them all over your house?  
-Because we like it. They're cool and interesting. Some of my parents killed and taxidermied them themselves.  
-It's gross. Poor little animals. You're mean.  
-Yeah, poor little animals, they are lived free and happily all their lives until death strikes them by surprise. The animals you ate tonight, wasn't so lucky. They lived in crowded conditions, separated from their families, force-fed before being violently killed among the carcasses of those they preceded…  
-Stop! Bethany cried out in horror.  
-...Or maybe they were raised on a farm where people treated them well and killed them quickly in their sleep, Juliet says, realizing she may have exaggerated. -Guillermo thinks about details like that.  
-Who's that?  
-The Latino guy with glasses. Do you want to see my toys, my books, my clothes…  
-Good idea," said Bethany as she walked to the closet, which she opened without invitation. -Are all your clothes this weird?

Juliet looked down at her clothes. Jenna had told her she could wear whatever she wanted. She knew that some of her clothes were more vintage but still! A white short-sleeved shirt, navy blue pants and cardigan, matching ballerina and her father had lent her one of his brooches. What's the giant blueberry problem with her cloths?

Juliet retains a remark and climbed up on her bed to join her aunt's doll.

-How's it going? asked the doll.  
-Horrible, Juliet grunted.  
-I'm not really surprised by it. I warned her it was stupid.  
-But Jenna…  
-Are you talking to your doll?

Juliet and the doll were an expression of terror before the doll fell inanimate and Juliet began to explain herself:  
-It's the last present my mother gave me! Sometimes when I talk to it, I feel like he's talking to her.

Bethany approached the toy to observe it before backing away.

-It so ugly!  
-No, she's not!  
-Yes, it ugly! You've got some prettys, but this one's really gross.  
-Are you done insulting my possessions including the last gift from my dead mother? Under terrible circumstances!

Bethany retreated surprised by the aggressiveness of the youngest girl.

-You can't be mean to me. I'm a guest.  
-The laws of hospitality oblige me to be polite, to provide you with food, warmth and good company. But if you disrespect me, mine or my property, I have the right to protect them with whatever force I deem necessary.

And Bethany started to cry. Damn, maybe she took Nandor's lessons too seriously.

-I said if. As long as your intentions are noble, you have nothing to fear. Come on, just calm down. Let's get you cleaned up, okay? Juliet said as she pushed Bethany towards her vanity to set her up.  
-Now that's pretty.  
-Thanks, I like it, too, Juliet said as she pulled out tissues from one of the drawers.  
-You got makeup?  
-A little, but my... my dad doesn't want me to wear too much while I'm young. He says it's fun, but the more you put on, the more you need when you get older. But I've got lots of jewellery if you want to see," said Juliet, handing her the kleenex.  
-I want to.  
-My favorites are in the jewelry box," said Juliet as she pulled more jewelry out of the drawers.  
-Where?  
-The skull," said Juliet as she placed the jewels on the cabinet.

She had a sasticated smile on her face when she saw Bethany's expression. Juliet had everything: necklace, earrings, rings, bracelet, brooches, barrettes, ect...It ranged from cheap plastic jewelry to precious metal jewelry set with real stones.

-Whoa!  
-Not bad, isn't it? You can try some if you want.

Bethany was all worked up about it, but Juliet didn't care. It was kind of fun and good to maintain the good relationship for Jenna's sake.

-I really like that ring.  
-I like it very much too.  
-Can I have it?  
-No, it was my grand-nana's ring!  
-But you've got plenty!  
-It's still mine!  
-You're just being selfish!  
-No, it belongs to me by right as the eldest daughter! I wouldn't even want to lend it to you because I don't know when I'll see you again.  
-Why will we meet again?  
-...Don't you want to see your sister once in a while?  
-Jenna's coming home with us.  
-No, Jenna lives with us," said Juliet, beginning to wonder if Bethany was having some developmental problems.  
-No, my mom said we're taking Jenna back with us.

Juliet froze before she said:  
-Your brother take too much time. I'll go get him, you stay here.  
-Ok.

As soon as Juliet left the room, Bethany picked up the ring...and then several other pieces of jewelry she liked. She put the rest back in the drawers and the jewelry box. She also took the opportunity to take some candy hidden in another drawer before crossing the doll's eyes. Bethany could've sworn she was on the bed. After a moment's hesitation, Bethany picked up the doll as if it were a dirty piece of clothing and stuffed it with the jewels and candy in her bag.

******

-So this is my room, still a work and progress but it comming togeder, Jenna explained.  
-The attic really?" asked his mother, looking disgustedly at the Stairmaster.  
-It was either here or a room in the basement, Nandor says.  
-If she wants to change her mind again, I'm open to it, Colin says.  
-Thank you, Colin Robinson, but I really like it here.

Jenna doesn't lie, she likes the attic: it's big and has direct access to the roof. They are repainted a little and started to put her things and they put most of their possessions (especially the boxes of orgy stuff )elsewhere in the house. Her coffin's here and Jenna admits it's more comfortable than she thought. She was also surprised to learn that you can have several models depending on the shape and even what you can cover the inside with (she went with the pink damask lined coffre model). She put up posters, has a small library, an desk with her computer, a wardrobe with her clothes , a couple of trinkets and ...that all. It doesn't take up much space, and even if the vampires wanted to fill it up with something else, Jenna was clear that she would fill it up over time. And Stairmaster can stay honestly, she doesn't care.

-Okay, I'm officially jealous, Seth says. -It's bigger than my apartment.  
-Have you had it inspected? I mean, the house looks pretty old, and I can't believe with the economy that…  
-If Jenna signed a lease, she stuck with it anyway, cut her husband off.  
-I have the papers if you want to inspect," Colin began.  
-We’re fine.  
-Where's your bathroom? Jenna's mom suddenly asked.  
-I can show you, says Guillermo.  
-I'm not senile yet, just tell me where they are.  
-Sure, Guillermo replied as Nandor repressed a growl.

******

Juliet found him in the upstairs hallway.

-You wouldn't believe the kind of freaks my stepsister lives with, Amanda, Jacob said on the phone.

Juliet snapped her fingers in his direction but he ignored her and continued talking on the phone. Juliet had a cold angry expression on her face and turned her heels.

-Anyway, I'm wondering if you'd like to send another picture...WHAT THE HELL?

Juliet had hit the wall next to him with a croquet stick, causing him to drop his phone. She picked up the cell phone and started talking in the softest, most believable voice she could :  
-Amanda? Hi, nice to meet you. Are you Jacob's girlfriend? Oh, that's cool. Are you Christie's girlfriend, too, or do you just have the same boyfriend? Sure, I'll give him the message, bye-bye. She says go fuck yourself.  
-You fucking…started Jacob before Juliet pointed the mallet at him.  
-I have some questions of the utmost importance and I want answers immediately," says Juliet. -So please be honest with me or I'll break your knees, go get the melon baller and scop out your eyes from their sockets. Am I clear?  
-...Y-yes.  
-Good. You're only here to pick up Jenna? Forever?  
-Yeah, my mom wants her to come home. My dad'd rather not because she's leeching all over the place.  
-Leeche? Are we still talking about the same Jenna?  
-I'm just repeating his words," said Jacob frightened. -And personally, I don't care, keep her there if you want!  
-I see. Thank you Jacob for your cooperation," Juliet said, kissing him on the cheek before leaving.   
-Um... can I have my phone back?  
-Of course, said Juliet with a smile before he stops when he sees the phone. -Is this one of her phones that can take pictures, record and even film? she asked.  
-Yeah, who's got a phone that doesn't do that these days? Jacob says surprised.  
-I'm sorry, but that's not going to be possible.

Juliet walked to one of the doors and threw the phone in the room before leaving, her mallet still in sight. Jacob waited in horror for the little girl to leave the hallway before rushing to the room...before closing in horror the bathroom where Nandor had been sick.

******

-What's that? Seth asked, pointing to the room under the stairs.  
-This is my room," said Guillermo in a reflex before realizing the stupidity he had just done.  
-You're sleeping here?  
-Yes... I like it better... when it's dark and cramped.  
-He's like a cat, Nadja says quickly.  
-...Okay, said Seth.  
-Hey is it me or does your mother take a lot of time? Says Laszlo.  
-Maybe she doesn't drink enough water, Nandor says.  
-Maybe, Jenna said trying to silence her bad feeling.

*****

Jenna's mom looked at the pictures and made a sound of disgust as she picked them up and put them in her bag.

-Are you looking for something? Colin asked.

At first surprised, Becky quickly recovered and asked with a smile:  
-I'd actually like to speak with my daughter in the living room if I could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry about Juliet and I don't think Jacob deserves this...But remember who her parents are.  
> Yes, there are casket models and you can personalize them.


	9. I dare you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The masks are falling down and everyone's at each other's throats (not literally...yet).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we have some reference to sex and some reference to addiction but nothing explicit for either.   
> Good reading and sorry for the spelling mistakes.

-Mom? Is everything okay? Jenna asked when she saw she was returning to the fancy room.  
-Jenna, I know the last few months have been hard on you. I think going home might do you some good. You need to recharge your batteries. Your brother and sister would be so happy to have you with them every day.  
-I'm fine right here, Jenna assured.  
-Jenna, let me doubt it. You're pale, sickly and you're not acting like yourself. Clearly this environment is not good for you.  
-Jenna is a strong and independent adult woman, I think she knows what's good for her," says Nadja as she joins them.  
-Yes, but anyone will tell you that it is the family's responsibility to intervene when someone starts showing signs of problems or is in an unsafe place.  
-And what gives you these ideas? asked Laszlo arriving with Nandor, Guillermo, Jim and Seth.   
-I know my daughter, just say Becky.  
-I'm sure you know her, but Jenna herself learned things about her in the last few months that she didn't know, Nadja says.  
-It would have to be clean," Jenna's stepfather remarked showing leftovers from the meal.  
-I'm doing this now," said Guillermo.  
-It's okay, Guillermo, they're grown-ups. They can put them in the sink, Nandor says coldly.

Nadja alone

-Interesting thing about vampires and familiars: our level of affection for each other really depends on the vampire to the other. Some are as attached as Nandor with Guillermo or me and Laszlo with Topher while others are little more than beasts of burden...But they're our familiars, they're ours and ours alone. You don't touch it. Nandor knows we're not too lucky in the familiar department and Guillermo likes to work for us so that's acceptable. But apart from the people in the house, it's a very bad idea.

Return to the group

-We're guests, I don't know how it works in your country, but here in the United States... Jim began.  
-I've lived here a third of my life," Nandor replied coldly.  
-Nandor, I'm fine. I'll clean it up, I'm happy to do it, said Guillermo worried about his master's reaction.  
-I'll help carry them, Seth says. -Maybe steal some leftovers while no one's looking.  
-I'll make you a bag, I promise, said Guillermo.

Seth picked up his plates and followed Guillermo. 

Vampires sometimes find it hard to concentrate, but when they do, they don't miss anything with their surdeveloped senses. Jenna clearly saw her mom's foot tripping Seth. Jenna in reflex caught most of the plates before they fell to the floor. The remains still ended up on her clothes and she felt a pain in her hand.

-Seth!Look what you've done, says Becky.  
-Shit, Jenna, are you okay? I’m so sorry, Seth asked.   
-I'm fine, Jenna said.

Nadja and Laszlo start to take the plates away from her to allow her to discreetly pass her hands to remove the piece of plate from it. 

-Are you bleeding? Jenna's mom asked.  
-No, Mom, it's just gravy," said Jenna, licking the liquid (yes, it's was blood) and pointing to a hand without a cut. -It's all right, I'm just going to change.  
-You should wash your hands too, I can't believe a girl your age would do that, says her stepfather.  
-If we must remain childish, let it be candor rather than petulance," said Laszlo coldly.  
-We're waiting for you, baby, Nadja said smiling.

******

Jenna had gone up to her room to decide what to wear. Seeing how it was going and her nice clothes now dirty, she decided that jeans and a t-shirt would be just as good. Suddenly she heard a heartbeat and the door opened.

-I'm changing! Jenna screamed.  
-It's nothing I haven't seen. Come on, I'm your mother.  
-Mom, what's so important that…  
-Jenna, honey, I understand the last few months have been tough. But do you really think it's healthy?  
-What do you reproach to Nadja? She's an incredible girlfriend that I love…  
-You don't like her! You're just envious and desperate," cried her mother.  
-What are you talking about?  
-You're lonely because you're single when if you took a little care of your appearance and were a little more social, it wouldn't be a problem. Instead, you throw yourself an older girl who's all you want to be and gives you attention. What happens when she gets bored?  
-Nadja won't let me down, Jenna said coldly. -Even if we had to separate, we'll always stay close.

When Nadja transformed her, she told her that if she wants to leave, she will respect her decision. But Nadja will always be there if she needs her. Jenna knows that the vampire who changed her left her alone without help or support. Nadja has never forgiven her even though she is happier as a vampire than a human. If she transforms someone, it's an eternal commitment.

-You really want to throw your life away wasting your time with her and her weird friends?

Jenna just finished getting dressed and ran out of the room. Her mother tried to stop her, but she was too fast.

******

-Anyone watch the last game? Ask Seth.  
-What sport? Nandor asked.  
-It doesn't matter, Seth says.  
-I admit I'm interested in talking about collision effects on football players," Colin began as Jenna's stepfather sighed.  
-I like basketball and hockey, says Nandor. -And Laszlo's trying to convert me to women's volleyball.  
-You have to admit that these girls are great athletes who show strength, grace and determination, said Laszlo.  
-It's not exactly a real sport, says Jenna's stepfather.  
-Because they are women? Nadja asked coldly.  
-Because the boring version of dodgeball which itself is a children's game, Jenna's stepfather replied.

Before Laszlo couldn't start with a fiery speech about the beauty of volleyball, Jenna reappeared to sit next to Nadja, holding her hand. 

-Sweetheart, are you all right?  
-Yeah, says Jenna not convincing anyone.

Becky reappears before Nadja can push the issue any further.

-Since when do you run so fast?  
-I'm doing more sports," says Jenna.

Hunting is a good sport even if it seems ironic when you don't have a heartbeat.

-Jenna, darling, you know I want what's best for you…  
-Oh, I think you passed the test, said joyful Laszlo to Nadja. -I suppose, in that case, I'll notify the children…  
-I think she needs to step back and be with her family, cut it off Becky. -This is not a healthy environment for her!  
-Lady, tell me in which language Jenna, me or whoever is in this house must tell you: your daughter is here and she wants to stay!, Nadja said ferociously. You have more than a dozen choices among the residents of this house!

Colin alone

-English, Farsi, Greek, Romanian, French, German, Latin, Hungarian, Russian, Mandarin, Italian, Creol and Spanish...I like foreign cuisine.

Return to the group 

-What do you mean it's not healthy? Nandor was insulted.  
-That this house is inhabited by degenerates, drug addicts and reckless people! 

Seth put his head in his hands, clearly frustrated when his father just seemed vaguely annoyed by the situation.

-And what's your evidence for a judgment so severe ? Colin asked entertained.

Jenna's mom took several things out of her purse and laid them on the table.

Guillermo alone

-That woman almost gave me four heart attacks. Because in this house we have: a basement that's normally full of victims, too many bodies buried in the backyard, several weapons and torture apparatus, the...material for the orgies, industrial refrigerators with leftovers from my master, Nadja and Laszlo, probably a whole bunch of unsolved crime clues...Is it just me, or does it look like I'm describing Jefrey Damher's apartment? Anyway, what she took out of her purse…

Return to the group

Everything would point to Jenna's mom's loot.

-That's it?" asked Guillermo.  
-Because it's not enough for you?

She grabbed the photos and showed them:  
-Those pornographic pictures!

Nadja and Laszlo alone

-She just found pictures of Nandor in an intimate situation, Nadja said little impressed.  
-I love the chap, but he's more than vanilla! Laszlo added.

Colin alone

-Pretty conservative for a guy who's over seven centuries old and had 37 wives.

Nandor and Guillermo alone

-I'm not vanilla! I'm just not denegere like them! Nandor got angry. -Tell them, Guillermo!  
-That's more than kinky to me, master," Guillermo assured uncomfortable. 

Return to the group

-Oh, my God, mom," said a horrified Jenna.  
-You see, darling, all I want is your...  
-I think she's more horrified that you searched our house, Colin says.  
-It's private! Nandor got angry when he picked up the pictures.  
-Everybody looks like they're all grown up and having a lovely time in the pictures. What's your problem? Ask Nadja.  
-If I could find them…  
-Most of our guests as well as my daughter know that snooping in someone's house is not polite," Laszlo says coldly.  
-Speaking of which, nice child endangerment," said Jenna's mother as she pointed to Juliet's toddler picture sleeping on the side of the dog.  
-It's Nandor... I mean Nandor's dog, John? tempted Nadja.  
-Yes, my dog John. A very good dog who lets the little one sleep on his side even if her head was directly on his bladder! She was never in danger!  
-It's an attack dog! Becky insisted.  
-In fact, Dobermans are known to be a sensitive, proud, intelligent, good guardian, loyal, vigorous and courageous breed of dog. Of course, the education of the dog plays a role in...Colin explained.  
-That's exactly what we're worried about, the master, Jenna's stepfather said.  
-He has six of the same qualities as his late dog, Nadja replied.  
-Thank you...Six? Colin Robinson named seven!  
-Late, said Laszlo. -Let's see what other imaginary sins we have to defend ourselves.

Jenna's mom threw a fetish clothing magazine on the table.

-It's mine, says Colin Robinson. -Normally I'd look for it in the mailbox, but when I saw that you were taking pictures of Nandor, I thought I'd let you find it. I thought it was for other purposes.

Seth tried to hold back a laugh when he saw the expressions of his father and stepmother.

-And that? Jenna's mom said as she threw a package to mouth condom into her daughter's lap.  
-It's mine, Laszlo says.  
-Grieving was quick, Jim said.  
-Speak from experience? Laszlo asked.   
-It's ours, but thank you my dear brother-in-law, says Nadja. -I'd think you'd be reassured that your adult daughter takes her safety to heart.

Jenna alone

-It really belongs to Laszlo, Jenna says. -I bought it for him because he doesn't like the taste.

Laszlo alone

-Why am I being judged? Lots of women don't swallow, why can't I have the same right?

Return to the group

-What about this? Jenna's mom asked, holding a pipe. -Is that for smoking drugs?  
-Tobacco has the origin but this one didn't even be use for this purpose, said Laszlo.  
-It's true that I've never seen you lighten up, Jenna realized.  
-Then why do you have it? To make you interesting? Jim asked.  
-I'm an ex-smoker. I quit when I was 20, Laszlo says.

Laszlo alone

-Fun fact, when you die, you lose your addictions. At least the one related to controlled substances. So I quit smoking and my drinking is gone too. I don't know if I had a drug problem. Not for my time or my background, but things have changed since then. So, yes, all it took for me to quit smoking was to die. Technically, I could still smoke, but...As a vampire, I don't breathe. I can technically force it, but even smoking a pipe requires you to concentrate your breathing. It's a lot of effort for almost no results. And now I know what you're going to tell me: I could just bite a smoker the way I bite a drunk when I want a drink. No. Wouldn't bite an eager smoker, their blood tastes like the contents of a three-day-old ashtray your dog peed on.

Laszlo has an expression of disgust just remembering.

Return to the group

-I no longer have a desire towards tobacco but when you spend seven years doing the same gestures and having something in your mouth when you are stressed, it stays!  
-Are you saying that your pipe is just an adult version of a pacifier? Colin asked mockingly.  
-You said you quit when you were 20? ask Seth.

But before Laszlo can answer any of the questions, Nadja intervenes:  
-Why don't you be honest and just say what's bothering you about your daughter, me and our relationship?

That had never been Nadja's goal, but if she had to take the bull by the horns, she was ready!

-My problem is that I want my daughter to have a future and at the rate she's going, she's going to ruin her life!  
-Stop talking about me like that, I'm in the room," said Jenna trying to stay calm, wanting to scream, cry and become invisible at the same time.  
-Don't talk to your mother like that, Jim says.

-Guillermo," Nandor whispered, waving to his familiar.  
-Yes?  
-Do you think we can exclipse without them noticing? It's uncomfortable.  
-I don't think so.  
-Shit. 

-And how, does she ruin her bloody life according to you? Nadja asked curtly. -She has a job she loves waiting for her when she gets out of school, she has a nice house and a rich social life!  
-It's not a stable life! Neither is this house falling apart or being used by a cougar who will abandon her as soon as she gets bored.   
-And why would she do that? Laszlo asked. -I recognize that you just met her but I'm curious, what makes you think she's the type to use and dump people?  
-She's more of the opposite type, Nandor says. -We'd have collected a million stray cats if we'd let her.  
-A lot of young girls experiment at college and then…  
-I experimented in college and I didn't stop afterwards, Laszlo cut her off.  
-What? I thought you were married to her sister!  
-I was, and in my heart, I still am. I adore women, but in college I remember being with a friend and he said something incredibly smart and funny to the point that I said: If you were a girl, I'd kiss you. He told me he didn't mind. And realize that neither do I. Woman, man or something in between. If I liked someone, why should I stop at what's between the person's legs?  
-Did you hear yourself talking? Jenna's mom said, looking horrified.  
-Perfectly. I actually consider myself particularly pure to love someone regardless of gender, race or social background. And the same goes for my dear sister-in-law. And I married someone I love more than I could ever imagine. I have a child and maybe I'll have another one someday. All that's missing is the white picket fence and the dog to look like a breakfast ad. Sounds pretty stable to me. My sister-in-law is like my late wife, she'll take care of your daughter, don’t worry. I can understand, you're just a parent who wants the best for your child. You're certainly not the type to push her in a direction that would make her so miserable that you wish for the sweet release of death just to satisfy your desire, right? said Laszlo in a sickly sweet voice.

It only lasted a second, but Jenna saw Nadja's hand squeezing Laszlo's. Not as a warning, but as an I'm here way. Jenna had thought that she and Laszlo got along well as co-spouses (this was the best she could come up with even though Nandor was still trying to convince them to go with sibling-wives) but it was pretty intense support. Not that she didn't want it, but there are people who defended ships with less passion on the internet.

-It's getting late, says Nadja. -Can you go get the kids, please?  
-Of course, said Laszlo suddenly seemed tired.

He left the room.

*****

Laszlo just wanted to go lie down in his coffin. Shit, he made a spectacle of himself. Let's just get his little demons back to their parents and let them finally end this hellish evening.

Laszlo then noticed light in his office. Oh, if one of his little brats has gone through his books and documents, he's going to get the scolding of his life! To his surprise when he opens the door, he sees his daughter.

-Juliet? What are you doing here?

The girl was startled before she tried to explain herself:  
-Papa! I know I'm not supposed to use your office…  
-But you're here, though," Laszlo replied.  
-It was an emergency!  
-Sigh...Bantling, I know you don't like the company of these rascals, I can't wait to see the rats leave the house. But was my office the only place you could hide?  
-That's not why I'm here... although it's appreciated.  
-Then why are you here?  
-I need an important document," said Juliet, pointing to a piece of paper in her hand.  
-All right, may I ask, my dear girl, why do you need an important document from your 7 years and 10 months?  
-So we can keep Jenna.  
-Alright, Laszlo said confused. -You know Jenna's not a dog? And that now women are no longer the property of their fathers or husbands. She can leave if she wants to. I don't think she feels like it right now…  
-Jacob and Bethany said they were just here to take Jenna back with them.  
-Good fu...funny luck with that, because she clearly doesn't want to go with them and I don't think there's a single person in this house that will let them try if the fantasy takes them! Are you reassured?  
-Yes.  
-All right, then let's get out of here. Also, what kind of paperwork did you think you'd need to keep Jenna?  
-A petition. Look, we could have all signed it, Juliet said, holding up the document.

It takes all his control to Laszlo not to laugh more tenderly than anything else by so much innocence. It's just so cute that she still believes in some kid's nonsense. 

-You know when they're gone, you can show her, I'm sure she'll like it very much. Now tell me, where are the two failed abortions?  
-I left that big, fat baby Bethany in my room. And that wet chicken Jacob must be in the hallway unless he got up the courage to go to the bathroom.  
-Hey, it's not nice to make fun of Besty's appearance.  
-I call her a big baby because she cries when she doesn't get what she wants and has no class!  
-Maybe she ate some lead paint when she was younger, and even if she didn't, act like it. And why is Jacko a wet chicken who should go to the bathroom where Nandor was sick?  
-Because his phone is here, Juliet says suddenly nervous.   
-And how did he end up here?  
-Uh, um…

Laszlo alone

-You know the part where you know you should scold your child but...you're actually quite proud and their intentions were noble, after all. So what the hell! I’m having a proud daddy moment right now!

Return to Laszlo and Juliet

-Let's get it over with, concludes Laszlo not even trying to hide her smile. -Let's pick up his little marcasins and release them back into the wild with their cow of mother and donkey of father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) I'll be honest, there are several names for mouth condoms and I don't know what the most common name is in the United States. It was an expression that came up most often in sex shops. I decided to just hope that the comment on goat cheese is just Laszlo doesn't like the taste and not a bigger problem.  
> 2) My sister is very fond of dogs and it was she who told me what she thought was the breed of dog that Nandor would change into. I think it suits him well.  
> 3) The pipe thing is something that really made me wonder: It's very hard to smoke a pipe because of all the little things that have to be controlled to make it work and it would be even worse if you don't have the reflex to breathe anymore. I wasn't sure if the addiction stays with you once you're dead, either.I went along with the fact that they disappeared because of Dracula (the novel).


	10. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the tension explodes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for being so slow to publish, at least we are nearing the end.

-Jakos? Laszlo asked.  
-It's Jacob!" said the teenager looking disgustedly at the bathroom and trying to control his nausea.  
-Oh sorry, I wanted to give this to Jakos," Laszlo said, showing a butterfly net and a plastic bag. -My daughter told me you dropped your phone in the bathroom.

Jacob took the items without a word throwing a dirty look at Juliet as she stood behind her father.

-When you're done, come and join us in the fancy room, your parents are ready to leave," Laszlo continued. -I'm gonna go find your sister...  
-I'm here! Says Bethany.

She was standing in the hallway with her backpack, ready to go.

-Wonderful, you can come down and join us then, Laszlo smiles.

*****

-So that's it, huh? Ask Jenna's mother in horror. -We've come all this way for nothing?  
-She could still pay for some of the gas, Jim says coldly.  
-I would have thought that seeing her healthy and happy was a good thing," Nadja continued coldly.  
-Healthy, that's quickly said! Replied Becky. -You still haven't told us what's serious enough to send you to the hospital.  
-It was nothing! Jenna said. -Probably mononucleosis…  
-Was it because of you? Jenna's mom asked.

After a hesitation, Nadja answered:  
-Yes.

Jenna's mom had an expression of disgust before she turned to her daughter:  
-Jenna, please go home! I don't recognize you anymore!  
-People change, weakly tempted Nandor.

Just seeing their ghosts was enough to make they realize!

-Not that much! What happened to my daughter who wanted to get married? Have children?   
-Strange, I remember seeing women going out on the street to ask to go to work, to vote and to have the right to a lovaly time without consequence! Nadja said coldly.  
-It's possible to have all that these days despite certain preferences," says Colin with a smile. -Marriage is legal for everyone. Adoption, insimination...  
-That's not the point! Jenna's mom got angry.   
-So what's the problem? Jenna asked. -It's been less than a year, I don't know if…  
-Did we come at the wrong time? Laszlo asked with an expression making it clear that he didn't care about the answer.  
-No, it's perfect," Colin assured.  
-All right, so your darling tadpoles are here…  
-The maniac attacked me," shouted Jacob, pointing at Juliet.  
-What? Says Jenna's stepfather.  
-Ridiculous! What kind of slander are you accusing my poor child? Laszlo said defending his daughter who gave her best interpretation of the innocent accused.  
\- She attacked me with an axe!  
-You lying bastard! Scream Juliet.

Juliet alone

-That was just a croquet stick! We don't have an axe light enough for me to lift it.

Return to the group

-How dare you…  
-The language may be a little rough for lady but I think my daughter has a right to defend herself, Laszlo cut her off.-Also, does it sound realistic to you that my daughter, a tiny girl under the age of 8, attacked your son, who is six years older than her, much more developed than her, with an axe?

Nadja and Laszlo alone

-I'm still angry with you, says frustrated Nadja.  
-What else was I supposed to do? I'm trying to protect our child! Laszlo defended himself.  
-And you had to use such sexist arguments for that?  
-If they are stupid enough to believe such nonsense, why can't I use it to my advantage?

Nandor alone

-An axe really? The only ones we have at home are too heavy for Juliet. I mean, even a young man would struggle. 

Return to the group

-My son is an honest boy who won't lie so it's that your daughter attacked him…Says Jenna's mom.

A noise was then heard like a muffled scream.

-What's that? Seth asked worriedly.  
-It's from Bethany's backpack, Jenna said without thinking.  
-How dare you accuse my daughter? Jim got angry.

This time something gave a clear hit in the backpack, causing Bethany to fall with it.

-What's in there? Guillermo asked worriedly.  
-Little girl, have you found a rodent that you've decided to keep as a pet? Nandor asked.  
-Why are you all after poor Bethany when she's the one who caused all the problems, Becky got angry wil showing Juliet.

Bethany had started to whine and picked up her bag to see through the opening the doll looking directly into her eyes.

-I'm going to wait until your whole family's asleep to skin you like the piglet you are and they find your meat ready for breakfast, promised the doll.

Bethany screamed and dropped the backpack, which spilled its contents onto the ground. The doll, jewelry and candy were in full view of everyone. Nadja rushed towards the doll to make sure that no damage had been done to her.

-That's my stuff...you bloody thief! shouted Juliet in a rage.  
-She told me I can take jewelry and the candies are mine," Bethany cried. -She put this horrible doll in my bag!  
-Lying catin! Juliet grunted before rushing to pick up her stuff with Guillermo's help.

He will remembers at that time finding it disturbing how easily he could imagine Juliet in a beastly form like the vampires. A point for the acquis, he guess. 

-I advise you to tell the truth," says Becky. -Jacob and Bethany both say that you have done bad things and moreover, are honest. So the only possibility you're lying. Apologize right now and I hope your father will discipline you!

Juliet reacts like a cat to her threat, scorn and disregard before resuming her task.

-My dau...niece wouldn't never risk damaging this doll, she knows how precious it was to my sister," said Nadja, poorly controlling her anger and holding the doll like a baby. -Or those jewels that have a high monetary or sentimental value such as Laszlo's mother's ring or the candies that Jenna brought back especially from her trip.  
-Also, it wouldn't be the first time a that members of the same family would lie to protect themselves or you know, be the one in need of discipline, Laszlo says coldly.  
-Does Jacob have any evidence of his assault? Or can he show us the ax in question? Colin asked with a smile. -Can Bethany explain how she didn't notice that her bag was heavier? Or how she found candies exclusively found in Canada like maple candy barley sugars?

Nadja alone

-Sometimes I wonder why we let Colin Robinson live with us...And then he reminds me why," says Nadja with a little smile.

Return to the group

-You said these candies were a gift from Jenna for your niece," says Jenna's stepfather.  
-Yes, says Nadja suddenly hesitant.  
-So Jenna brought back a gift to an ill-bred child she's known for a few months, maybe even to all the residents of this madhouse, but nothing brought back to her family? asked Jim, looking at his stepdaughter.  
-I'm sorry, I didn't think…

Juliet reacts quickly, taking the treats to put them in Jacob and Bethany's hands.

-They can have them, I don't mind sharing, said Juliet before whispering to the two children.

In spite of the soft tone used by the girl, her expression but her menacing gaze promised something else. Jacob paled as if he was afraid she was going to shove them down his throat herself and Bethany began to cry louder.

-Juliet," said Laszlo in a surprisingly calm voice. -Keep your treats and go to your room, please.

Then he bent down while no one was looking to hypnotize the other two children:  
-You will return everything you stole right away and say nothing bad about my daughter.

That made Bethany give other jewelry she had in the pockets of her dress. Once picked up, Juliet left the room but not before her mother returned the doll to her.

Juliet and Nadja doll alone

-I think someone is going to die, said Juliet.  
-Probably," replied the doll. -Want to bet on who? My money on Jim.  
-Not sure Jenna would like that. But I hope it's Becky.

Return to the group

-You are so ungrateful and selfish, continued Jim.  
-He' s not wrong, you thought of strangers before your own family, says Jenna's mother.  
-Her girlfriend, the girlfriend's family and her roommates who let her live in their home without hesitation," says Seth.  
-Seth, it's not about you. I've had enough, Jenna get your bags, we're leaving.  
-No, says Jenna.   
-It wasn't a request," says Becky.  
-I'm over 18, you can't force me," said Jenna trying to make her point.  
-Leave her alone, it's her problem if she wants to ruin her life, Jim tried. -Let her pay for the gas and give something to compensate with Jacob and Bethany…  
-No! I want her to listen to me! Are you going to ignore us until you need money? What am I going to tell your grandparents when they ask me if you have a boyfriend? And do you really think a child will be stable in this environment?  
-I don't need money! And I don't know, we can try to explain it to them or I can lie in the meantime! And I don't even know if I want kids...Can I even have kids?" Jenna suddenly realized while the other vampires had an expression of collective discomfort.  
-Don't tell me when your...that woman who lets her bratty niece live with her, doesn't want children? Or does she absolutely want to adopt or give birth? Because let me be clear, I am not going to be the grandmother of a child that is not yours!  
-What a bloody surpris, said Nadja sarcastically. -Of course you will think that.  
-Listen to me, you filthy…  
-Mom, stop! What I wanted to say is that I wanted to say that I...I have...I don't have my periods anymore.  
-Oh, because she's pregnant too," Jim scolded.  
-No! It's been almost a year since they stopped. Ever since I was sick. I think that means I'm... sterile?  
-Yes, you are," Nadja said uncomfortably.  
-What?!

Jenna's mother looks at her in shock.

-But how is this possible? Did they take or cut something from you at the hospital? Have you changed your diet? I told you that eating poorly…  
-I don't know mom, it just stopped, maybe it's premature menopause? tempted Jenna.  
-Oh really? You expect me to believe that the girl who was complaining to anyone who would listen that she was suffering martyrdom and losing so much blood that she had to wear diapers just magically stopped her period?

If Jenna's heart had still beat , it would have stopped. Jenna saw the look in other people's eyes: Colin had eyes almost indigo, Nadja, Laszlo and Nandor them, looking at her as if she was the main attraction of a freak show.

-Mom," said Jenna, starting to cry humiliated.  
-Really at your age, you're going to start crying to embarrass your mother? asked Jim.  
-I think she's just having a break down because of the deplorable situation she's in," says Becky.   
-Are you becoming self-aware? Aks Seth his face in his hands.

This is too much, Jenna can't take it anymore. Before she understands, she makes herself invisible and runs away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor little Jenna, it will get better, I promise.


	11. Take out the garbage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nadja takes matters into her own hands and Laszlo speaks with Jenna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if my rhymes are slower, my life has been a bit complicated.

Jenna rushed to her room. It was just too much. Nadja and Laszlo were right, she should never have let her family come. She was just a poor idiot and Nadja probably wouldn't want anything more to do with her.

-Jenna?

Jenna was startled when she heard Laszlo's voice.

-Are you there? Let me know, because I'll feel really stupid talking to an empty room. Listen, you may want to be left alone or just see Nadja but I would really like to talk to you...please.

After a moment's hesitation, Jenna becomes visible again.

-Finally," sighed Laszlo. -I had to do this in 3 rooms before I found you.  
-What's going on with my family? asked Jenna.  
-Nadja is taking care of it and don't worry, even if there is no lack of desire for, she won't kill anyone.  
-It's my family, she doesn't have to take care of it.  
-If you want to take care of it yourself, we won't stop you. But know that there is no shame in asking for help. I know this from experience.  
-What do you mean? Jenna asked confusedly.

Laszlo was silent for a while before finally saying:   
-One would have thought that between the prince of a war-torn country full of coups d'etat and a poor gypsy girl growing up in a ruined village, that would be the pretty rich boy with the shitty childhood?

*****

-Where is Jenna? Ask Becky.  
-As bloody far away from you as possible, I hope! scream Nadja, mad with rage.  
-I did nothing…  
-You've spent the evening demeaning her, you've just publicly humiliated her in front of everyone, you let your husband treat her like a leper dog, you insulted our home, our food, searched and robbed our house! You should be the one who is ashamed, what a poor excuse for a mother you are!  
-Don't you dare say that to me when you not only don't have a child but you put your sister's child in danger! I should call child welfare!  
-What?  
-Your brother-in-law! If he doesn't care about the sex of people, I don't think he cares too much about age. Especially when they're not even related…  
-OUT! Howl Nadja.

*****

Jenna's surprise could be read on her face because Laszlo explained:  
-I know what it's like to be humiliated, to feel all the time that you are too much and always wonder why they are never satisfied despite all the efforts you make.

Jenna had heard Laszlo say troubling things before, but she was never sure if it was troubling now because of modern times or if it had always been a problem.

-You know, sometimes I think our bodies know us better than we know ourselves. Our special powers always seem in my experience to be what we need more than what we want, Laszlo continued.  
-I don't like being ignored," says Jenna.  
-Yet tonight, that was all you wished for. Be invisible and leave alone. I can charm the beasts with my music. Art, especially music, has always been my outlet when things went wrong. And it's an art which calms people down, forces them to keep quiet and lets you express yourself. Which I use to almost never had the right to do.  
-Laszlo, I'm sorry but I don't know if we can compare…  
-Oh no, if you want to compare who had the worst, I win. Your family from Welcome to the dolls house doesn't even compare to my family of that looked like it came out of a V.C. Andrews novel! My mother, my sister and a cousin, that's all I had worthy of the name. But my mother followed the adage that the best go first and she died when I was younger than my daughter. My sister did her best but she was also a child and when she was no longer one, she was married to a man who never really loved me. Not that the feeling was not mutual. And my cousin lived in Germany so it wasn't exactly easy to reach to him. So it's not that they didn't try to protect me but the means were limited.  
-Laszlo, I...I'm sure it was awful but it's not the same thing. I've never hit or…  
-But you act as if you're afraid it's going to happen. And the sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never break me is bullshit. Anyone who has ever seen a verbal jousting of courtesans will tell you.  
-It's not as bad as it seems.  
-So, you want to apply the logic of the past? As long as they haven't beaten you, deprived you of food and they don't asked to contribute to the rent by prostituting youself, they are good parents? I guess that gives them a passing grade but nothing better! In fact, you know what? Even in our time, it wasn't enough. Nandor did even try to restrain his wives and children by force no matter how easy it might have been for him as a sovereign because he understood that they were afraid and did not feel safewith him no matter how much it breaks his heart. My in-laws went to bed on an empty stomach for God knows how long to save their kids from it! And always took the words that their children were before those of others whether it was a man who thought he had a right to Nadja or a priest. My father more or less bought my mother when she was 14. She was his property and she still did everything she could until the end to protect me! And after her, my sister took over. We were only half brother and sister, she was 12 years older than me and had her own fucking problems! She had no obligation to me but she still tried to help me. What are they for you except what the law requires them to do?  
-I...They came to see me! They were worried!  
-Your mother's husband would clearly have done without it. Do you know what your youngest brother says he calls you? The leech. You're a vampire now and it still doesn't suit you.  
-We never get along well. I wasn't always easy.  
-For example?  
-I forgot my stuff a lot, I didn't always want to keep Jacob and Bethany, we argued…  
-It's unbelievable! A child forgets his stuff, fights...no, not even, just doesn't want for some valid reason to keep 2 little monsters and maybe as a teenager, she had one or two conflicts with her parents...Can I have this for my daughter? Because if I can choose the which worst I must enduring, I'll take yours before the one I gave at the same age.  
-I'm sure you weren't that bad.  
-I started smoking when I was 12 years old, drinking a bit before that, lost my virginity with the wife of one of my brothers on the night of his marriage, had 5 prefects to support me at the university in exchange of my charms, steal the portrait of my teacher's mother before burning it…  
-Why?  
-Because he had hit me and it was the only portrait of her that exists. It is irreplaceable, he smiles cruelly.

Jenna has seen him kill people, knows he was Jack the Ripper and yet, it is probably the most disturbing thing he says.

-And I know that a mother is sacred, but yours, my darling…  
-She's just not comfortable with the situation with Nadja and she wants to try and resonate with Jim.  
\- I think she is comfortable that her husband treats you the way she treats his son. People who look alike come together. And you're talking about the fact that you're lesbian?  
-Bisexual," Jenna corrected him.  
-But with a 95% preference for women, Laszlo insisted.  
-Maybe, but if Nadja became Nathan, it wouldn't change the way I feel about her.  
-Me too. A rose will smell just as good under a different name or with a different genitalia. But tell me, Jenna, why does your mother have a problem with your preferences?  
-Laszlo, it's nothing new for you that people have a hard time accepting the LGBTQ+ peoples.  
-Not at all. I just want to know the why. I think there are a lot of reasons to be sad when it happens until recently.  
-What? says Jenna confused.  
-Does your mother fear for your soul? Or maybe it's just for your safety. Crimes against homosexuals by the mob or even the government used to be the norm. If you were an only child, I might think it's the sadness of not being a grandmother since adoption was not an option any other time. Maybe she thinks you've been hurt and now you're afraid of men. Maybe she thinks she missed out on something as a mother and you're looking for women's comfort now. I would fully understand some of these reasons. Others I won't have as much patience. So why doesn't your mother like your preferences? Because for everything I named, there is a solution: Your soul? You're a vampire, the worst is already done. Your physical protection? The world is much more tolerant and we'll help with the rest. You are not an only child, so your mother can be a grandmother through one of her two other blood children. I won't have a problem if you ever want to have a child with Nadja and Juliet would love to have a sister or brother. I won't turn into the fairy-tale stepfather I promised. My daughter's middle name is my half-sister's name, I don't want to stain her memory. And I don't believe for a second that your mother thinks she did anything wrong in your upbringing and she doesn't seem to care that you had a bad experience. So my dear, what is left but pure stupidity and a desperate need for control?  
-...I...I'm not sure, I think she just didn't think…  
-I knew I would die young but I thought it would be either lepres, alcoholism or a cuckolded spouse, not by a vampire. And I didn't think I would marry a gypsy. That my best friend would be an ottoman. That I would love this little bantling as if it were my own flesh and blood. It still happened. And I'm so glad it happened. I don't think my family would have understood. My cousin is fine, as he is also a vampire. My sister...I think it would have been a lot at once but I know that in the end she would have wanted me to be happy. Even if it means being a blood drinking monster, married to her ex, raising a bastard child and living in co-habitation with an ottoman, my wife's concubine, a servant who is more a pet that anything else, and Colin Robinson. And you, what do you prefer? What you thought you would be or what you are?

******

Call it self-preservation, Jenna's parents felt the change that had taken place in Nadja. Something reptilian in their brains was telling them to run away without asking for their scraps. Sadly, they choose not to listen to this instinct. 

-If you think I'm going to let you talk to me…  
-You will if you want to keep the rotten sausage that serves you of tongue! You take your crap and get out of my house before I do it myself...In pieces if necessary, Nadja promises with her eyes reds. -If you think you can make my sweetheart cry and insult my husband without consequence!  
-Our affairs...began Jim suddenly aware of the danger.

Guillermo, farsighted, placed the coats and bag at their feet. They would pick them up quickly and start getting dressed.

-What word is too hard for your donkey brains to understand?  
-One minute I'm helping her get dressed," says Becky, putting on her daughter's coat.  
-Do it outside!  
-Now listen to me…

Nadja took one of the shoes from the entrance and threw it directly into the window of Jim's car.

-OUT OF MY BLOODY HOUSE!!!!!

This time the message was understood and the family left without asking for the rest. But before Nadja grabbed Jenna's parents by the collar and said:  
-You are going to forget this address, the way to go to it and NEVER come back!

When the trash were taken out, Nadja went in search of her beloved. Leaving Nandor, Guillermo, Colin...and Seth alone in the living room.

-Did she say husband? asked Seth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) What Jenna's mom says about Laszlo is something someone already has about me (I am pansexual). It is still to this day, the most hurtful thing I have ever been told. One of my best friends had a reaction hardly less dreadful than that of Nadja. That person must have found out that day that my friend is also LGBTQ+ (she is bisexual). Bad news, this person is still in their lives for familial reasons. Good news, my friend has no problem with me being in her children's lives.  
> 2) I want to believe that Nadja, Jenna and Laszlo lived in a charming polyamorous family unit. Watch as Laszlo tries to convince Nandor to join them. (Just kidding, Nandor x Guillermo forever!).   
> 3)Protective Nadja is the best Nadja. ^^

**Author's Note:**

> 1) I swear the sticker book exists, I own it! I believe this company has published a sticker book on every topic that exists no matter how much it makes sense!  
> 2) It's not just a reference to Lovecraft, I really came across a village that looks like Innsmouth was adapted by Disney. I don't know if it's a coincidence or if it was made on purpose to attract tourism, but it works!


End file.
